Essentialism

Weniger aber besser

Or, in English, less is better.

I like that.

For years, I was calling myself a minimalist or practicing minimalism when asked what was this lifestyle I chose. But, as I mentioned before I could not identify properly with the label. It felt negative. It felt like I had to deprive myself. The word did, not how I saw it and lived it. However, when asked to explain, I found most people where uncomfortable with the word. No matter how I explained it and for how long, many walked away with a feeling of doing with less, getting rid of what they loved, depriving themselves... and there was not much I can do. It was "common knowledge" that minimalist had nothing. And don't get me started with the word frugal.

I get the words and I understand that they are just that: words. But, uncomfortable, bearing a negative connotation in our society of always more, always faster, always better.

I do believe that this lifestyle could save our Mother Earth. In order to do so, more people need to embrace it. For that to happen, the word used should feel more positive.

I stumbled upon a book at my library called "Essentialism - The Discipline Pursuit of Less" by Greg McKeown.

Love the book which I am not quite done reading and absolutely fell in love with the word "essentialism".
Isn't it lovely? More positive? Feels like you have all you need?

Essentially how I live... claiming that less is better, choosing quality over quantity in everything: relationships, work, what you own, activities...

Who needs quantity in this world? We need quality... more than ever. We need meaning. We need depth.

Quantity has proven it doesn't work in so many ways. It makes us stress, sick, it depletes natural resources, rids us of time...

Quality is everything. Who needs a circle of 25 friends who barely have time for you when you can have 2 who will absolutely show up because they also value quality? Who needs a big house full of stuff if you are hardly ever there to use it? A wardrobe with all the latest fashion finds when it changes every month and they probably don't even reflect who you are... An agenda fill with things to do but no space to catch your breath? We all need to breathe...

Obviously, it implies making choices. It requires trade-off.
You can't have it all!

But more on that later.

For now, look at quality in your life.
Keep that. Focus on it.

I will help you with the rest in the upcoming weeks.

I find fall to be a wonderful time to let go.
Just like trees let go if their "old leaves" that will not serve them well comes winter, you can let go if what will not serve you well in the next season of your life.

Meditate on this.

If you liked this, please share.
Chloe 💜&✌

I lost everything

"I lost everything, I have found myself." Rumi

This is me right beside the Third Vault falls in Fundy National Park, Canada.  They are the highest falls in the park accessible after a moderately difficult hike. But so worth the effort.  Breathtaking. I fell so small... and at the same time where I should be right then.

Over the years, I have, like in the quote above, lost everything. But I found myself... it started years ago... it took a while... but layers after layers, I shedded who I had become to find who I was.

I had to let go of who I had become for the wrong reasons. This was not easy... conditioning made it really hard. From the moment we are born, we are identified to a name, an astrological sign, a religion, a family, a town, a country... and those come with pre-set values and beliefs. But we don't get to choose any of these...

And it goes on for as long as we want it to, or let it. We go to school, make friends, do sports, play music, do art... but how much of this really is our choice? Let's move along... after high school, how many of us freely, consciously choose our next step? We are surrounded by "you should", "you have to", "this is the best option for you"... but is it really? I am not necessarily  blaming the adults we are surrounded by who push those decisions on us, after all, they got the same conditioning.  They think they are doing the best they can...

But something is wrong. Somewhere we got off track... we decided that the only way to be happy was to be successful in a well paying carreer. 

Why do I dare say this is wrong? Why do I go against the most common belief? Well, I base my opinion on my own experience and that of many other adults I have met who are unhappy, lost, feel like something is missing, like there should be more...

I base this on the fact that there are more people on anti-depressant, and stress controlling drugs... more adults committing suicides... we seem to have it all but people are more unhappy and stressed than ever before in our history!

We wake up one day, in our thirthies, forties, fifties or sometimes later and realize we are no where close to where we'd like to be... life went on... and we have a family, a career, money, a fully furnished houses a pension plan, a car or two, savings, yearly trips, a closet full, jewelry, a huge collection of books, movies, etc... We have it all so it seems, but we feel empty!

We are never home because we need to work to pay for it and everything in it!
We use the car to go to work!
We wear the clothes that can be worn at work but not the others we really like, well because there is no time.
We travel to forget work!
We don't have time to read the books because we are working... nor the movies!

And if you have kids, it get's worst! You need even more money and have even less time for you or them!

We make more money but have less...
We live longer but have less time...
We can't enjoy the ride...
But we should as this is really all there is.
There is no real destination. Only life and death.

This is what happen to me... I hear you! Not judging.
But there is another way!!! There is a better way.

I woke up I was 35!
My son was turning 7.

I changed everything... and over the next 11 years, I worked hard on myself... really hard. But I did it! I am now who I thought I would be as an adult...  I lost everything but I found me! I was there lying underneath all the layers of conditioning, layers of "should", layers of "have to"... all squished but there.

And now, life goes on, but I get a say in it. I no longer let other people decide for me because why should they? It is my life.

I own my life.
I am responsible for it.
I love it.

And you? Do you identify with any of this?  Do you feel empty? Tired? Like there should be more? Or have you already done the shedding?

If you like this, please share...

Tks
Chloe 💜&✌

About my age...

Very early on, we are thought not to ask an older person her age. It is impolite. Especially women.

Have you ever wonder why? Well, we worship youth in America. You have to be young. Or you don't matter. Perhaps that has something to do with it.

Do you follow that rule all the time? I don't.  I am fascinated by age.

I am 45.
I do not lie about my age.
Never.
I don't mind people asking me.
Never did.

Maybe the fact that people usually do not believe I am 45 helps. But still.

I am 45. I feel like 30. Really.

Do I like growing older? Not sure... maybe because 45 falls into an abyss.

However, I like it better than the actual only alternative: dying young.

It's just that I am in that awkward phase... an age between ages... an age where most women fight to stay young or look younger, an age where you take off 10 years of your actual age - or you seem like you gave up. An age that is not really accepted in our society - look at books, movies TV shows here in America...

But I am 45: too old to be young and to young to be old.
The invisible non-existent woman.

Why can't we introduce people by name and age? People should be as proud to give their age as they are to give their names.

I know age is just a number. But in today's life quite a meaningful one.

I guess what I am trying to say is why not try and make room for people of every age in our society?  Just let us, middle age women, live, not ashamed of our age, changing hair color,  appearing wrinkles and changing bodies... let us accept that phase as a normality, as something that is desirable and should be celebrated! Life is so much easier when you don't feel the pressure to fit into an impossible-to-fit-in mold...

I am afraid that if we don't accept ourselves at 45, there will be no more lovely old ladies eventually.  You can't go from looking 25 to 70 overnight... That doesn't make sense.

Chloe 💜&✌

Being an introvert

I am an introvert.

I like to be alone. 

Or with a couple of people close to me.

I like to read, knit, sow, draw, paint, do crafts, walk, observe birds and clouds, do yoga and meditation... and I love clothes (not fashion but style).

I am lucky enough to be able to learn quickly and I have an excellent memory.  It has allowed me to try many things and be quite good at them... but I am not detail oriented and not a perfectionist. I was never great.

In my younger years, this was really hard for me.  We live in a society of greatness and spotlight.  I was never the first and hated the latter.  It made me feel like I was never good enough... like something was wrong with me.  And I tried... but deep down I didn't really care... but I didn't know I didn't care... and not caring made me not succeed and feel even more like I was not good enough.  I was not in the right surrounding for an introvert.  I didn't even know what an introvert was until very recently. I was labelled as shy - very shy.  And shy was wrong... I had to heal it... I had to get overt it.  It made me feel like I was not good enough like I didn't belong.  I tried different groups, tried to fit in tried to become less shy as you are suppose to be. Tried to heal.

Go big or go home they say.

I fought for a long time.

To fit it.

To belong.

To be how you are suppose to be.

To go big.

It made me scared, miserable, physically sick.

It made me doubt that I could even be someone.

It made me doubt I had a purpose.

Only to realize years later that there was nothing wrong with me.  I was simply an introvert. That was OK.

It was OK to not like big groups of people, noise or the spotlight. It was OK to not be great and to not have big goals, it was OK to not be a super achiever and detail oriented.  It was OK to not be a perfectionist. It was OK to not fit in.

It was OK to go home.

Then I allowed myself back in my bubble in my nest... where I feel good about myself and my life.  My simple life of  caring for my son and husband... my simple cooking... reading, knitting, sewing, drawing, doing yoga and meditation... my walking and stopping to look at a cloud or a bird right there... playing dress up... my being here and now... and not really caring for the rest.

I don't have big plans, big goals or a bucket list.

I no longer feel, like I should.

I do what I want when I want and how I feel it.

It doesn't mean that I have given up or there is nothing I want to try or do... it just means there is no pressure.  I will do things, try stuff, visit places when the time is right.  Not rushing things but letting them unfold.

I no longer try to fit in.

And I know I don't and never will.

That's OK too.

I am me.

Simple.

Peaceful.

Happy.

Introvert.

Chloe 💜&✌

Home sweet home

I have mentioned before that in a few years, my husband and I will pack everything and move into a RV for as many years as we wish for...

Then why would I title a post "home sweet home"? It seems contradictory for someone who wishes to pick up and go, just wander from one place to another, to think home sweet home! Right?

Wrong!

But first, we had to define: what is home?

Some people define home as the place they grew up, others, as the place with all their family and/or belongings... where their familiar food is to be found... and I could go on and on... when we sold our house and moved into an apartment, it took me a year to feel home...I felt like I was missing out on so much -the extra space, the basement, the backyard, the pool! Then, I changed the way I was thinking and started looking at what I had gained: less cleaning and maintenance hence more time, cheaper and as a result more money to do things I loved... more time to spend with my young son... and from there I started changing the way I saw my life and started to look at my priorities differently.  It was at that time that I started my journey into yoga and minimalism.

I started to look inside of me, trying to figure out who I was, who I wanted to be. I digged deep... and when I thought I had reach the bottom I digged some more, only to realize that at 35 years old, I was nothing like I had picture myself as a grown up... I was too self-centered, way too materialist, unbelievably stressed and tired, focused on all the wrong things with a bigger then nature ego! I had became everything I despised while growing up! Everything I swear I would never be. I hated myself... therefore I could only see one option: change.  And I took it! Slowly but surely I started changing to who I was deep down, who I always wanted to be before I started listening to people telling me who I should be...

In 16 years together my husband and I have lived in 8 different places (including 6 different cities in 2 provinces). We have moved so often... every time bringing less and less stuff with us... and over time we learned to make it feel like home almost as soon as we got there...

Now, basically, I wash the floors, put my bed up, burn some insence and bring my food - then, I can call it home! Home is easily achieve for us now...

After spending a few week ends travelling in other provinces this summer, I came to realize that I don't care where I'm at during the day... as long as I have my book, I can spend the day anywhere, but preferably closer to nature then a city, as long as I have somewhere to go to at night - ideally, a place I can call home! What I miss most when travelling is my own bed, my own food and a familiar smell.

This is probably why I like camping more then a hotel...while camping, my familiar smell is definitely there as I bring my equipment, it is kind of my own bed and I can pick the food I bring with me and eat!

Can you imagine in a RV? Where basically your home is with you at all time? It would be my bed, my whole space would be infused by my insence, I would have a small fridge and stove for all my essentials, I could park it in the woods close to a lake... and perhaps, as a bonus but not essential, even have my own shower! Alleluia!!!

The purpose of this summer wandering was for my husband and I to identify what we like or not and what we want in the near future... we changed so much over the last couple of years that we had to prove to ourselves the work we had done was successful - and it is, we no longer like to do the things we used to do even on vacation!  Well the RV life from National Park to National Park is what seems to be best for us... and by realizing that we really no longer care for cities, shopping, restaurants and those tourists traps we used to love,  we have revised the cost of living in our RV and it will just be simpler and cheaper then we expected... I just can't wait!

Home sweet home! 🚙 🌳

What defines home to you? Do you really know who you are? Did you dig deep inside of you to find who you are? Are you happy with the adult you became?

Chloe 💜&✌

Life is though... 😉

The biggest life change since I stopped blogging almost two years ago is that I retired!

You read this right.... at the young age of 45, my last day of work was February 7th, 2018! My husband and I had been planning this for 4 years! I had been all my life...

Despite what I made myself believe for years I never was much into work... that is work traded in for money! I am not lazy... I am always busy, doing something! I just don't like rules, being told what to do when and dress codes! I loved most job I had but the most rewarding ones were the least well paid ones... and despite me being quite a feminist (but that is not the subject of this blog), I am happiest at home taking care of my loved ones! Confusing? For sure...  but I am a walking paparadoxe.

It took hard work as a couple to get to that point. Anyone who read me before knows that my husband and I had quite a few problems in our lives... and that I was a shopaholic! We had debts... went through many layoffs... and had a challenging financial situation for a very long time. But we worked on it... the psychological issues and the finances. Over the years we  decreased our family income almost three fold. We went from not making enough to having extra! Yes, you read that right - with almost 3x less money, we now have more then enough... are happier less stress and I could afford to retire!

Now, don't get me wrong... it hasn't been easy.  We had choices to make, decisions to take, healing to do... we had ups and down... and some fights... but we always had the same goal in mind! This is what made us succeed!

Now, you may wander why in 2018, we decided to live like it is 1918? Well for values mostly.  Call us old fashioned but I love to cook, clean and do laundry for my husband and son. They don't value me any less for it... they appreciate it. I am less tired and in a much better mood all the time... I laugh more!  We all have more time to sit down with each other and enjoy ourselves... it puts less strain on each one of us! We all are better people for it.

The decisions we made were to live in a smaller and older apartment but in the end, it feels more like home because I have time to take care of it and make it better... we also lowered the groceries budget (we still eat healthy food no worries), but having more time to cook and shop for food we have less waste and that is great in do many ways! Also by addressing my menu, I have chosen a few healthy and cheaper recipes that we eat over and over again - for someone's who's favorite hobby/chores is NOT cooking, that is perfect! We cut home internet (that was the subject of a previous blog) and that is one of the most freeing thing we have ever done - along with going back to flip phone! And last but not least, our "coffee" budget was decrease by half! We go as often except we've let go of the fancy, too high in sugar, drinks in favor or simpler coffees and teas! Less expensive and healthier!

As a result, we both have more energy, time, money to be out and about on week ends... I can still shop enough to satisfy my fashion sense... and I am no longer a shopaholic ( although well aware that once an addict always an addict)

I have all the time I need (or should I say want?), to read,  write, knit, sow,  do some art, crafts, practice my yoga/meditation, walk, enjoy nature, do my bird watching, sky observation, plant identification... I have time to fill myself up so that I can be of help to people around me. Isn't that what life is all about? What fun is it to always be tired and stress out?

It works very well for us... after 6 months, we all are happier... so why not? Who cares what people say or think?

Everyone has to find their winning combination!
It rarely is the obvious one.
Dig deep... meditate... listen to your inner self and then DARE TO BE YOU!!!

THE REAL YOU

THE YOU YOU WERE BEFORE THEY TOLD YOU WHO YOU SHOULD BE.

UNFUCK YOURSELF.

Chloe 💜&✌

My reading marathon

Beginning of 2016, I had given myself a challenge: read 42 books in a year.  This, was A LOT for me... I was not such an avid reader... I was always kind of an on-and-off reader. I could read 3 books in a row and then nothing for months...  If I wanted to read 42 books in a year, I could not afford to do that...

I had set a few rules/directions for myself

1) I could read in English or French
2) I could read anything... as long as it interested me... novel, science, psychology, biographies...
3) Books that were more then 500 pages were equivalent to 2 books, more then 600 pages, 3 books and more then 900 pages 4 books.  I have only read 2 books that fitted in those categories, they were respectively 530 pages and 639 pages...
4) I'd have to read books that are currently in my home - whether they belong to my son, husband or myself  - or get them from the library or borrow from a friend (After all, I am right in the middle of my 367 days shopping ban, I did not wanted to use this as an excuse to buy stuff).
5) No need to keep track of the actual list of books I read... only the number. (I wanted to see what would stick to my mind naturally)

I had no idea on how I would find those 42 books.. which ones would I read and why... I had no list of books I wanted to read before hand - Now, I have a list of 60 books!!!

So here's what I did: I started with a book taken from the library... I honestly can't remember which one but I am pretty sure it was from Alexandre Jardin.  Then, I let my reading, and trips to the library, guide me to more books! I would write down books from an author I was reading, I would take note of authors or titles mentionned in a book I was reading (not listed as "in the same collection" or "by the same author" but actual books the characters were referring too in a novel - that THEY were reading)... I would note down the title of a book someone was reading in a coffee shop if they seemed "similar" to me... In the library, I would always check the section "New books" and "Books you may have forgotten" ... If I discovered a new author, I would note another book title they wrote... And last but not least, I would take down suggestions friends made to me. I also noted down a few books that inspired movies or TV shows.

Therefore, one thing to another, I ended up with always more then enough books to read.... way more!

Why would I do that challenge?  Not sure...  but I remember, Jan 2014, I wanted to train to run a marathon - an actual one.  My body, which is in pretty good shape overall, does not like me getting to "warm" - it has to do with MS.  This really disappointed me...  and for some reason, this year, I had already been reading 5-6 books by the end of January, I decided to do a reading marathon...  Which, I was sure then, would be challenging enough... in another manner but challenging.

I had not idea what to expect... but here's what happened...

And you might think I am crazy for that...  but it is REALLY what happened...

With no pre-established list of books to read... and with the method I had to select books, believe it or not... it seemed like one book would flow into the next...  And I am not sure I can explain this well here...  but it seemed as though each book would prepare me for the next one AND each book would find a way to answers "questions" and/or "concerns" I had at the time of reading it... I would read really anything... in NO specific orders... sometimes a classic followed by a very recent novel and then a philosophical assay and then a more scientific one and somehow they would "melt" into one bigger thing in my brain! Links would create themselves from one book to another... I would see things more clearly... Life seemed more "understandable" - if it can be.

I think this will be a lasting effect... my life will never be the same...  after reading some 10k pages (assuming books averaged 250 pages) in only 9 months, it is as though I have become another version of myself...  They say you remember on average 10% of what you read... This means, that somehow, I have created my own 1000 page book... in my mind... it cannot not have an effect on one's life.

It also made me realize what type of books I like to read... I like to read things about psychology, sociology, anthropology, some personal development stuff, nutritions (but with a science base), novels (but not any type - I am now better at knowing that books I will love or not) and some biographies (but then again not systematically all of them).

And this is why, I will take up another challenge a friend of mine gave me:  to keep on reading, in the same manner, at the same pace, with the same "rules" another 108 books - apparently, once you get to 150 books something happens...  I am up for it!  I have already seen such a huge difference in my life those 42 books have made, I can't wait to see what another 108 added to that will do! It's a good thing I have a list now... but I am afraid that list will keep on growing... because the more I read, the more references I see, the more new authors I discover, the more I'll go to the library and leave with books that were not on my list to read and the more people will give me suggestions...  Is this ever gona end? It doesn't really matter... I have many more years to enjoy reading... now that I can afford to work part-time!

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,

chloe

xox

My view on.... my son's birth... 16 years later!

My son was born 16 years ago on September 8th...  this is acutally tomorrow but I really wanted to write about it today!

For those of you who would not be aware yet, his birth almost cost me my life.... and he almost did not make it himself...  it was, some would say, a horrible day...  but in the end, with years passing by... I see it more and more as a blessing! I am really grateful that we both make it of course... but I am even more grateful he turned out to be such a lovely young men and I that I got a second chance... And would this day had been more "regular" nothing of what happened after would have happened exactly the same way and our lives today would be completely different!  That I am convinced of!

A few words about him:  he is a kind, sensitive and thoughful boy...  he hates school (even though his average is around 80% without ever opening a book at home!!!) but love the cadets, discipline and anything that is very demanding. He's a loner...  but makes friends so easily...  of course, intravert... BIG TIME!   Very unpopular at school but one of the most popular ones at the cadets!
He's vegetarian and loves police TV shows as well as any videogame with a mission and guns (police, army, fantastic...)!  He can't wait to drive and buy his first car and already started saving for it... and looking on line for prices!  He swears he will never smoke, drink or touch drugs! And he started his process to get enrolled in the army - he wants to protect the canadian citizen and help in different countries when possible by reconstructing schools, hospitals and help finding survivor of natural disasters!

Is it exactly how I pictured him sixteen years ago?  Of course not...  Is he living the life I would if I was his age?  Certainly not....  but how are you suppose to know how your kids will turn out? Well... YOU DON'T and this is the beauty of it...  They are their own person! I loved this boy from the day he was born without even knowing who he was... it was completely selfless, unconditional love!!!  And I am trying to give him all the tools he needs to become his best self!  Not the person I imagined or wish he would be...  that would not be fair!  As a parent my first responsability is to get to know this guy:  his dreams, desires and secret projects and give him the tools he needs to realize them! All of them...  it's HIS life! Not mine.

And guess what?  I was not always that good at it... because he scared me... his dreams and goals where so far away from mine in a way... I did not and could not understand them. But the more we talked and the more we opened up to each other, we learned to respect and appreciate the differences and it scares me less now... and makes me see that ultimately, his goal is not so far from mine...  but uses different tools and means.

We both want to change the world...  me from diseases by improving diet and lifestyle... and him by reducing suffering, helping with school, hospitals and rescuing people who have seen their whole world turned upside down! I am using my brains and mouth (hahaha) but he'll be using his arms and physical strenght!  We use different tools because we have different abilities...  but somehow, this is bringing us closer together then I ever imagined possible... when he told me two years ago that he wanted to join the army, I cried... because I was loosing him - and sure I would loose him for good... but now, his decision, which we talked about time and time again, has actually brought us closer and I now know, that there is no way I will ever loose this boy! We have a unique bond... born in love AND respect!

Love might have been unconditionnal from the time he was born...  respect was born over time...  by sharing thoughts, talking about stuff... and mostly listening to each other!!!

So there you go Cedric!  I hope you have a lovely birthday and a nice year coming up!  It will be a challenging one but I know you'll make it through even more awesome then you are today!!!  You will grow and change... mature and learn...  and this is what really matter!!!

Follow your dreams...
And even if they are not mine, I will assist you as much as I can...

p.s. a little thing about my second chance:  not every one get them, and I am grateful for it...  being born again at the same time as him, has allow me to redirect my life where I wanted it to be when I was a kid... and this is the best thing that ever happened to me!  I have less moeny then ever... but more time then any adult could dream of to enjoy my son and life!  This will always be the best gift he gave me:  life!!! In a way, we mutually "gave birth" to each other!

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,

chloe

xox

Peace... finally...

This morning I felt like writing... but not quite sure what to write about...

I realized that I write a lot more when I am tormented by something, when I want to create to new goals or objectives, when I need to clarify what is in my head... not so much when all is good...

It has been years that  I am working toward feeling like I feel today...  It took time and was not easy... you can look into that by reading my pasts blog posts... I do not feel like repeating myself again! 

I know they say that happiness is not a destination but a journey...  but really, at some points in my life, I felt like that was a big fat lie!!!   I was not completely unhappy but there was always something not quite right... and I was working toward achieving a certain state of peacefulness in my life and felt like there was always something not quite right or something missing... After years of working on myself and my surrounding, I finally am where I wish I could be... and that feeling is awesome! 

I created a life for myself, with the help of my son and husband who have been, during those years, the only two constants.  Everything else was a variable... projects, goals, objective, jobs relationships... they all came and go but those two were always there for me! I owe them a lot... a lot more then I could ever repay them probably!!! And I love them to the moon and back... a million times over!!! 

However, at this point, I can say that we are now officially debt free... one of our biggest concern! 

We are both working at jobs we love...  I mean really... waking up Monday morning is nothing special!!! 

My shopping addiction is well under control and I only buy what I really care for when I have the money...
I have established a more regular yoga/meditation practise...
And refine my home so that it is my temple...
I have re-discovered the joy of reading...
And found a new passion in nature, hiking and camping...
My health is perfect despite MS - as well control by diet and lifestyle

If you'd ask me today, there is seriously not one thing I would change in my life and I can honestly say that I was never at this point before - not even close!!!

I am pretty sure that my following posts will be quite different from the ones before...
In a sense, I think there is much less to say, or write about, but at the same time, I feel like I must continue sharing to help as many people as I can...  and I actually love doing it!!! I feel like this new episode that is starting will be an amazing adventure where you will get to see who I have become after years of fighting for it...

Could I have done it faster? better? differently?  Perhaps.... but it was my way and it gave me the results that I was looking for... isn't that all that really matter?

Well, this will be it for today... a short but, I think, important one to  write as it sets new grounds for what is coming!

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,

chloe

xox

Wedding anniversary

My husband and I 12 years ago

My husband and I 2 weeks ago

I think I am pretty lucky to have met my soul mate... and have had the chance to marry my best friend!!! And what is even more awesome is that it's the same guy!!!

On Aug 14th, 12 years ago I married who I knew at the time was the love of my life...

I am not going to lie... it has not always been easy...  the 12 first years of our marriage include having to deal with a recompose family...  a physical sickness, a mental illness, job losses (yes more then one), a major move to another province and severe financial problems including bankruptcy...

Then we look deeply within, both went, separately, to find help and started reading on self healing and personal development... we discovered yoga, meditation and Reiki... while sharing, and sometimes arguing, about what we discovered, we were committed to make this work because we loved each other more deeply then anything you could send our way!

Our rule #1 was to never go to bed upset... so sometimes we did ended up talking things through most of the night but it always worked out!

And that's it.... 1 rule... lots of love and respect for each other...  and lots of sharing.... discussing and listening... Marriage is hard work... but so well worth it when love is involved!

Now, as I look back, I know we had our share of hard times - you can't be 12 years with someone and not fight... that would be a lie! But, what remains vivid in my head and in my heart, are all the lovely memories we have and the awesome life we created for ourselves!

My husband is my BEST friend and he knows it...
I tell him everything....
He is, along with my son, my priority #1!!! (I know this sounds old fashion, but I truly believe that for a couple to withstand the test of time, you NEED to be first priority to each other)

We took a 180 degrees turn together...
We came out of darkness...
We got to become better people...
We are stronger now then ever before...

And happier now then we even thought would be possible...

I love him to the moon and back...
To many, many, many more years with the love of my life, my soul mate and my best friend...
Happy anniversary to us!

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,

chloe

xox

A new found love...

Last Friday I left for a four days week end camping!

It was the first time I was attempting this in almost 20 years...  and it had been not such a good experience!
It was not the type of vacation I usually look forward too.
I was a little scare about it to be honest...
But my husband was really looking forward to it and had done so much overtime for us to be able to afford the minimum equipment we needed...  I had to try my best!!!

Let me give you a little background about my experience with nature... you'll see, it won't be very long!

I was born and raised in the city...  Montreal.  A big one...  Growing up, nature to me meant my backyard...  or the near by park which had an area consisting of roughly 200 trees.... to me, this was a forest! And there even was a little hill! Hahaha! There was also a Botanical garden... Then, during summer, my parents would bring me to the beach in different places in the USA. There, there was the ocean, sands, and a shit load of tourists, with all their umbrellas and coolers, toasting in the sun. This was nature to me. Occasionally, my parents would bring me on a road trip where I could see fields of corn and cows...

Honestly, my closest experience with nature was on the few occasions when we went to one of my parents country house... there was a lake and a real forest... this WAS nature... but we'd stay overnight and then leave...  it was really short and I was always under 12 years old.... and it really happened maybe only 3-4 times.


I mean, I real city girl!!!

In my adult life, I gravitated towards cities in my trips...  and I would not go somewhere unless there was a four stars hotel and a Starbucks nearby...

Even when I moved to Moncton, to get into a quieter life, I chose a city that was smaller then Montreal, but big enough to have a Starbucks... and a mall! I never expected that in two years I would change so much that I would dread going to the mall and start avoiding Starbucks...

Then, last spring, my husband, whom I love very much, expressed to me his need to reconnect with nature... but I was doubtful I would even tolerate it...  He promise me he'd work really hard (he meant extra hours) so we'd have all the minimum and a little extra so that I would enjoy it... at least not hate it.  I agreed to it... but deep down, I was sure this was a waste of money and that after this summer, this trip would be over.

Surprise, surprise!!!!

I love it!!!  REALLY!!!

Perhaps even more then he did!!!

I fell in love all over again... It was a revelation... I did not wanted to come back... And I am counting the days till our next four days trip:  there are 20 left!

We are also coming up with a plan to visit Fundy quite a lot next summer...  meaning a nine days trip and a few extra long week ends!

Why Fundy?  Well, there is the Bay of Fundy, a gigantic forest... and it is a really nice place with hiking trails for everyone...  there are tons of lovely views where you can just relax...  red squirrels, hares and tons of birds...  and a million stars in the sky at night!  A nice added bonus was the village of Alma which is 5 minutes away right at the exit of the park where there is a General Store (for what you may have forgotten...) and the Octopus coffee shop with an outside sitting area by a stream with the sound of water and birds... and Alma also has a beach!!!
Fundy is just a little over and hour drive from my home!!!

We barely touched the surface of that National Park which is also a UNESCO World Heritage site!!!
This is why I want to go back...
I REALLY want to go back...  OFTEN!!!
I want to llok into all it has to offer... there is so much!!!

I miss it already... and the only thing that is holding me together is working to save money to go back!!!

I knew this guy, years ago, who would work all year (with a quite decent salary), live really frugally and save all his extra money to travel... At the time, I did not understand... now I do.  My money, all I can put aside, is now going towards camping trips in Fundy National Park...  and then eventually, we'll try the other National Parks...  I need to be in nature... I need to step away from the city and the noise... and the people...

Maybe I'll never live completely in the woods... but who knows?!?  I will let that new found love bring me where I should be... and see what happens!!!

This is what I do now... I let life (the Universe) guide me with the help of my yoga practice... and it makes everything so much easier... I just know what I need and it comes to me naturally...

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,

chloe

xox

Meaning and Purpose...

This post came to me while I was doing today's yoga practise...

For years, I have been looking for a meaning to my life... for a purpose...  thinking there MUST be more... there HAS to be more than this...

And my husband and I strongly disagreed on the subject... one of the only one...  but I must admit today, he may have been right... He use to tell me that there is no meaning to life... none of it makes sense... and we have no real purpose aside from living...  doing the best we can with what we have... all based on loving kindness...

Well what if life has no meaning?  What if none of it makes sense really?  And the "older" I get, the more I seem to realize that nothing makes much sense...  nothing is really explainable... and I am not saying that in a way that makes you completely out of control of your life...  I still think that the decisions we made in our past makes us who we are today and dictates the conditions of our lives...  and so it goes for our future which is design based on what we do today! But in the big picture, nothing REALLY makes sense... you can't scientifically come up with rules or equations that explain life... and that, may, in the end, be the beauty of it.  There is not direct consistent action-reaction relationship. A complete stranger and I can make the same decision today and five months from now it will have brought us in two completely different places... What if the meaning of life was just for us to be alive and part of something bigger?  Do any other animals inquire about their meaning on this planet?  In this Universe?  They simply live... that is their meaning.   Maybe ours is just that too. Maybe we are wasting time trying to find meaning to something that doesn't have any and it robs us of our precious time here on this planet.  For time is infinite for the Universe but quite finite for us. This is why, in today's practise, I came with this huge urge to just live my life and stop looking for meaning... And this is what I will do from now on. No more searching. Just living.

And what if each and every one of us do not really have a specific purpose?  What if our purpose is just to do the best we can with what we have... always based on love?  What if the purpose was simply love? I am not saying that you or I don't matter....  I strongly believe that we do matters and everything we do/think matters...  but there probably is no written purpose anywhere for every human stepping foot on the face of this planet...  If our purpose is just love in all aspect of our lives everything seems so simple...  just love your life!  Love yourself... Love your friends and family... Love where you live... Love your home...  Love your "just enough" material possessions... Love your work...  Love your free time...  Love your leisure activities... Love the fact that ALL of it will come and go... nothing last forever... but there is always someone else or something else to love... Love the fact that there will be good times and bad times... for without the bad times we would not appreciate the good ones...  and without the good ones we'd have nothing to hope for when the bad times are there...

And again, I spent so much time trying to find a bigger purpose to my life...  but WHY?  I love my son and husband...  I love cooking for them... I love my job...  I love my very few friends....  I love what I can do with my free time... and that is a great PURPOSE in life:  LOVE!   I believe that if everyone would love their life as much as I do, this world would be a better place as no one would be looking/searching for something else all the time... people would be less stress...  lest anxious...  There would be no need for over consumption, addictions, and all those "modern illness" caused by the fact that we think there is something bigger and we must attain it! And then at this point, it will all makes sense...

Nothing makes sense
There is no bigger purpose then love
And yes you do matter

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,
chloe
xox
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Hurtful maybe.... but in the end helpful!

Almost two years ago, one of the people I had always respected and cared for in my life told me something that was very hurtful.  Something that actually broke the care and respect I had for her... If she told me that, she obviously never even tried understanding me and she certainly had no respect for who I had became.  It hurt... and I thought about it for a LONG time...  and I thought it was resolve....  until I came across this article two weeks, or just about, ago.  Then it resurfaced...  and forced me to figure it out... And I did... and this is why today, I am ready to write about it.

What this person had told me was that I should have more "ambition".  Now, it referred to the fact that I work part time in a coffee shop...  I live in a small town in a apartment, I have no car... and own very little furniture...  and I am, in no way, ever, aiming to get back to that place in my life where I was very unhappy and sick but... I had a house (not a home), two new cars, travelled twice a year,  had lots of furniture and Nick-knack...  way too much clothes and jewelry...  picture frames every where... books and more books.... CDs...  DVD... my kitchen cupboards were filled with stuff... so was my pantry and fridge even thus I ate out most of the time....  I spent time shopping and eating out... or cleaning... but mostly working to make enough money to buy all that...crap!

This person, considered who I was before as someone who had a successful life as is expected once you obtain a bachelor degree...  I know I hurt her when I chose a different life... slowly but surely I went from that unhealthy stressful (but deemed successful) life to something much more healthy, peaceful and sustainable...  for my husband and son.... and actually the whole planet!

I am now eating a whole food plant-based diet...  I own very little and only stuff I really need/use/like!  I no longer shop... rarely eat out... I do not own anything I cannot bring with me in a suitcase/moving truck... My mean of transportation are my legs as they carry me, at no cost, where ever I want... I am at a point in my life where I could grab a suitcase, choose what I want to bring along and leave the rest behind...  no regrets!
I don't even have credit or a line of credit anymore -adios credit cards, personal loans and line of credit.... if I don't have the money, I go without!

Now, I understand why this may seem like not having enough ambition - to some...  but if you think it through, living this way in today's society is not that easy... and to me ambition does not mean an easy fight!

And what is ambition anyway? Destroying the planet by our over-consumerism way of life? Following what everyone does? Getting a high end paying job to buy stuff you do not need to impress people you do not like?

What is your definition of ambition?

What if ambition was living a healthy peaceful life? What if ambition was taking the best possible care of yourself to be able to care for your family?  What if ambition was learning to cook healthy whole food plant-base meals? What if ambition was to share your acquired knowledge? What if ambition had nothing to do with you self-centered need but was greater then that?

My definition of ambition is attaining a healthy, peaceful life despite what most of our capitalist society thinks... it means doing more with less... it means not hurting my body, mind, soul by acting according to beliefs that I was brainwashed with all while I grew up... It means taking care of myself to the best of my knowledge... continuously improving the way I do so by looking for more information, obtaining more accurate knowledge... it means staying clear of masses because you know what other word is included in masses...

What if ambition was define this way in today's society?  Wouldn't it be a better place to live? Wouldn't it assure our kids and grand-kids a planet and food for them?

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,
chloe
xox
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Why moving help me define who I am

This picture was taken right before we closed the door of our last moving truck (June 2014).  There really was not more then that.  It was a 14' truck and we did not even manage to fill it between the 3 of us!

But let's back track...

I spent the first 23 years of my life in the same home.  Born and raised in one place...
Then I moved out in my first apartment into which I stayed for 2 years... and bought a home.  Into which I was convinced, at the time, that I would spend the rest of my life in... I stayed there 4 years... That was in 2002 and ever since that day, of Oct 31st 2002 I have stayed in 6 more homes. Including another house from 2002 to 2006... then apartments!

I discovered that I LOVE moving!!!  I was, up until almost 2 years ago, always in the same city but it was a huge one and quite frankly I have lived in many very different parts of it... Every time requires adaptation... Every time required you go through your stuff and box it up or let it go... Every time you need to re-install yourself and once again choose where everything goes and if everything needs or deserve to stay part of your life... Every time by going through your physical stuff you cleanse physically but also psychologically! Letting go or keeping stuff has an immense power over your life... believe it or not.

I won't lie... moving from my first apartment into my first house was a nightmare!  I was highly unprepared and really stressed out! I cared to much about everything... and it made it not fun!

However, after that, it all became more fun every time... I feel like I am born again and can re-invent myself!

No one knows you on a new street... so you can break old pattern without worrying people will talk...  You can create a new life and attract more like minded people... You can completely dress in a different way and no one will know...  It's like you are a brand new person! It's a white canvas that you paint how you like...
Of course you can always paint over an existing canvas but the work required is much more...

This, the white canvas, actually holds even more true if you move far far away!  On my last move, we took the moving truck 973km away from our original town...  We switch province...  We had to say good bye to everyone we knew all our life including family...  We moved into a city where no one knew us... Into a place where there was no such jobs as what we use to do...

Three completely white canvas that were to be painted how we wanted them to be...

Whether we like to admit it or not our families, friends, work collegue can hold us back if we want to make a 180 degree change to our lives...  because they may not be ready to do so themselves... because they may not want to loose you... because it may triggers insecurities a about their own lives!

Moving can sometimes be the best option.

We needed to step away from our old life and even though moving every 2 years or so was a nice progress... the actual complete switch occurred when we completely moved away!

No one knew us... no more family engagement... no work obligations... no social gatherings... All 3 of us in a new city and open to completely different opportunities!

My son turned into a fine young man... and I have seen him blossom... Really! I have never seen him so confident...  and well surrounded.
My husband found his dream job and even though it was less money then he made in the last 25 years of his life he had to try cause there was nothing else (it was something he was considering back in Montreal but would not accept the pay cut)...  he ended up really loving it!
I have managed to work part time and be able to concentrate on my family life and health.  This was what was most important to me....  have I not moved here, it would have been way more difficult to do so...

By considering moving anywhere you can actually look into what suits you! Not all cities, even within the same country, offer the same advantages, have the same cost of living and the same environment...  There can be huge differences!

I truly believe that in Montreal, having spend 41 years there I could have never become who I am now... I tried but there was too many obstacles of all kind!  I was able to somewhat be who I wanted to be but some parts were inaccessible for many different reasons.

And this is why I have not created roots anywhere since I moved in 2006...  I no longer wish to... I stay somewhere as long as I see it fit and then move on... My home is where my husband, son and I are...

It will be the same with Moncton... It is perfect now but I will want to move again one day...  the only difference is that now, I will not move within the same city (Moncton is so small that anywhere you go you see the same faces - or pretty much - even after only 19 months spent here)...  If I move, I am going elsewhere... I am trying something different...  completely different because really having roots is not for me - or not that kind of roots anyway.  I love to try different things, meet new people and see different landscape!

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...

namaste

love&peace,

chloe

xox

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Mexican fisherman story

Hi!

I took this off the Internet... you can easily find it by googling "Mexican fisherman story".

Years and years ago (even before FB even existed and we still used email for chain letters)...  what seems like when I was really young and tought I had life all figured out I came across this story... I loved it so much that I printed it and posted on my cubicle wall in my high paying job... it triggered something and it made me see that, in the end, maybe I tought I had figured it all out.. but I figured it all out WRONG!!!

I was working hard at something that was stressing me out, but paying me a quite decent amount of money, with a generous pension plan, figuring out that if I could stick to it until I was 55 I would then be happy!  And I could live the dream life of the rich and famous... I was, at the time not even 30!!!

It stayed there for 5 years...  and I kept on working and reading it every now and then...  I didn't know what to do with it... I wanted to be like that fisherman but had no clue how I can do this...

Well, that was 2002... and we are now 2016... and I can say that I finally became that fisherman...

It was not easy... but so well worth it...

I hope that story will trigger something in you as well...

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,

chloe

xox

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because we only live once...

Well...  I don't know who came up with that sentence... I can't remember when we started using it...  and I certainly can't remember exactly when we started using it so often and for the wrong reasons!!!

But is seems that today, we justify every silly, unjustifiable things we do/buy with that one sentence!
It also seems like big corporations, marketing people and the like are "using" it to get us into buying things we don't need, with money we don't have.... to impress people we don't like - well.... because we only live once!  So why not????

It seems to me that because we only live once, we have turned every wants into a need...

If I only live once, I really do need to eat that 30$ steak - even if I later get a heart attack! And buy the giant flat screen TV  - even if I need to use credit and loose sleep over it! Buy the latest newest trendy thing - because everyone else has it and I don't want to be left out!!!  And so on...

If I only live once, who needs to care about being healthy? and compassionate?  Who as time to think of the impact their action has on others???

We need to live NOW... because who knows when it will be over???

Well, I think this sentence who can have such a wonderful meaning has turned us into walking nightmares!

Because guess what?

 If you only get to live once, so does all the people who work in horrible conditions to provide you the "cheap" stuff you absolutely need even if you can't afford it!

If you only get to live once, so do the local business owner who can't live because you'd rather buy cheap jeans at 20$ and a t-shirt for 5$ from a big chain abusing workers in third world countries!

If you only get to live once, so do all the animals who endure horrible conditions so that you can eat them!

If you only get to live once, so do your children/grandchildren which will be left with very little to look forward to if we keep on going like that!

If you really only get to live once and want to make the most out of it, I think this is what you should do:

- use less resources to leave some for other generation to come
- buy local to help people in your community
- encourage fair trade
- instead of buying people gifts, exchange stuff you no longer need with the stuff they no longer need
- instead of buying gifts, bake/cook something, offer to babysit, grow a plant and offer it, make something, offer to run errands, ask what people really need!!!
- go to your local farmer's market and get most of your stuff there
- give stuff you no longer use for people in need
- find your real purpose in life
- think about the impact every action you do has on others
- volunteer at the hospital, in an elderly home or you local animal shelter - whatever make your heart beat!
- be an example to others , inspire people to be the best version of themselves
- instead of having a fancy pricey party where people need to dress up and bring a hostess gift invite people for tea and a hug - we need so much more hugs then anything else!
- be honest with yourself and others
- learn the difference between : use, need and want.  And apply it in your life

and I could go on and on.....

But basically, what I mean is:

LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE SO THAT OTHERS CAN SIMPLY LIVE

I read somewhere that "when you are born, you cry and people smile...  you need to live your life so that when you die, you smile and people cry".  I find that very inspiring! I can't remember where or who said it but it does resonate with me! Oprah or Maya Angelou maybe...)

So please, my lovely readers... you do get to live only once... But make it significant and worthwhile... it is so short in the span of humanity you can't leave a mark by buying the biggest flat screen TV ever! You need to do better then that!

And there is so much more joy to be taken out of the non-materialistic aspect of life...

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,
chloe
xox
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And yet, another year as passed by...

As you may know already, I like to reflect upon my life when my birthday comes by...not on New Year's day or around that time... to me, the years are marked more by the time I was born then anything else... It is more significant to me.

It makes birthday not as easy and perhaps I should stop doing that...  I had said to myself, that this year, I would not do it...  but it started happening again this year over the week end. I couldn't help it...

I will soon be 43!  And I really have no problem with that...  I am at a place in my life that I enjoy...  I have a loving husband and a wonderful teenage son.  I can work less hour doing something I love...  I have sufficient time to do the things I love like reading, cooking, baking, walking and enjoying tea with friends... I have plans for short and mid-term... I am almost done with debt...

I am becoming more and more who I wanted to be... although, I will never be a psychologist, like I would have wanted to, I am becoming more at peace with that and I am trying to see that even without the degree in itself, people do come to me to talk things through - like they always did!  I may not get the pay that comes with it, but the rewards of helping others is still there... and worth more then then money that could come out of it.

I am happy to say that 12 years after being diagnoses and just about 18 years after my first symptoms, I still have vibrant health...  Becoming vegetarian, then vegan was the best thing I ever did for myself...  Jumping on the minimalist wagon was the next best thing I did.... and as years passes by, I do not regret those decisions... and I am becoming more and more convinced that these are the best ways to live a healthy life...  for myself, others and the planet. In doing so, I live a more compassionate life then I ever did...

I have become more assertive of those values of mine...  as well as being a pacifist and environmentalist...  I have had my share of ups and down about being able to "change the world" but I think that in a way, as long as with all of you guys, we are changing it.  Slowly... but surely... I also discovered that I cannot be quiet about those things... and I cannot change my mind...  Being a minimalist and vegan are the healthiest way to live...  I wish everyone was... and then we would probably have peace on heart and a wonderful planet to live on...  If I could, with a snap of my fingers change it all, I would.  But I have come to realize that it doesn't happen like that.... I can try and talk about it and plant seeds in people's head but I cannot make that seed grow... it is up to each and everyone of them to do so.  However, what I can do is keep on planting more seed.... and leading by example...  Gandhi said "be the change" and I will keep on doing just that.

Time will take care of the rest...

Of course, going against mainstream comes with a price... but I do realize now that the rewards are so much more then the price to pay...  it is all worth it!  I can sleep better and look at myself in the mirror without being ashamed of who I am - as I am the best version of myself I could ever be... and day after day, I try and work on it...

Over the past year, I have lived a very simple life - simpler then ever before...  I read a lot...  met amazing people... traveled a little to discover my new part of the country...  Perhaps I did not do as much yoga as I wish I could have done...  I will work on that this year.  Also, I probably spend, still, too much time on social media and not enough in nature...  I will also try and address that this year...

All in all, it was a good year...
This year, I want to do more yoga and less social media...  I also want to learn to spend more time in nature... These objective will help with mid-term goal.

I am looking forward to the next 3 years as I see my son mature and become a young adult...  He has amazing plans that I am helping him on... He is turning into an great guy... and I am so very proud of him!

I am also looking forward to a few years after that as our retirement plans are awesome and I can't wait to do them. (Yes, as you can add up the years, I am planning to retire a few months before I turn 46!)

And yet, enjoying more and more here and now. I now feel free to have good and bad days... I feel free to be quiet...  I feel free to not get back to everyone right away.... I feel free to do things that I like/love and not the other stuff... I feel free to cry when I feel like it.... smile when I want to... and laugh as loud as I feel like!

As my life becomes more and more enjoyable, I have an easier time to be here and now.  I am not trying to run away of make up for things I don't like in my life...  because I have cleaned those up...

In retrospect, being 42 was good!  And I am expecting 43 to be even better...  and I know it will be because I am the one to choose how my year will go.... no one else can do it for me!

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,
chloe
xox
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The true cost

http://truecostmovie.com/


hi lovely readers!!!!

Last week end I watched the above documentary...  It made me cry my face off...  It was really just so sad... And it got me really upset!!!

To be honest, it has been on my list on Netflix for a few weeks now but I was avoiding looking at it...  because I kind of knew what was in it.... and I preferred avoiding it! I knew that my life would never bee the same after...  and as an ex-shopaholic who sometimes has week moments, I suspected this would not make my life easier.... I was being selfish.

Well, after watching this, I can say that it was ALL I suspected.... and much much more!!!

It opened my eyes even more on that industry.... the superficiality and selfishness of it... and of us consumers! In general.

In resume, it brought me to think about the impact my $ spent have around me...

I am at this point where I am becoming more aware of the impact each and every one of my move has on our capitalist system...  and most of the time, they are not a positive impact!

I am not quite sure what impact the viewing of that documentary will have in my life... but I am thinking about a few options and one big challenge...  I need to refine details but you will soon find out!

What I know is that I cannot tolerate and be blind to the conditions the textile workers in Bangladesh and other countries are working in... I cannot pretend I do not know the impact all that pesticide laden cotton fields have as an impact to the workers and surrounding citizens - here and elsewhere on the planet...  I cannot pretend I do not know that all those heavy dyes and pesticides applications are not hurting kids in India with cancers and mental illnesses... I can't ignore the chemicals cheap leather worker have to endure...

Our behavior as a consumer in America has an impact on pretty much the whole planet...

Because:

-of pesticides used to grow cotton - impact on the land and people
-of chemicals use to dye fabrics
-of chemical use to treat leather
-of horrible working conditions textile worker have to endure (did you know that some of them got beaten because they tried to get a union in to protect themselves?)
-of throw away fashion that is not biodegradable and ends up in third world countries land fields...
-of polluted water source in India to mention only one place....
- death of workers working in really bad shape manufactures

and I could go on and on... but you could watch it for yourselves...

Our cheap-throw-away-after-a-season-clothes are actually tinted with blood.... the blood of those who loose their life so that we can have a pair of jeans at 20$ and a t-shirt at 7$ in some very well known stores...

But how did we get to that point?  Well someone somewhere...  probably more then just one person...  figure out that if they could provide us with cheap clothes, we would be more likely to buy them.... and change them more often.... and hence they would make more money! In the same line of thoughts, instead of having 4 collection a year, some store now have 6 to 7 collections per years... and one well known store even has new stock coming in weekly!!!

And us, as consumers...  did not realize what we got ourselves into...  we bought and bought and it slowly got us hooked...  and we didn't even see it coming...  advertisement is such a wonderful thing!!!

It makes us believe that as we change our clothes, we are following trends...  and making friends... and being loved...  and looking young... and sexy...  and pretty... and it also gives us the illusion that if we change our clothes more often we are RICH! Rich people do not wear the same things over and over again... so we believe!

However, if this was the case, if we were rich because we could afford to change our clothes at such a fast pace, how is it that we are more and more in debt???  Look at your credit card bill, bank statement..  how much $ do you put in a fashion industry while still feeling that you can't keep up with trends and that you have nothing to wear?  How much time do you spend at the stores every week?  How much time spent in front of your closet every day trying to figure out what to wear?

We are not rich... we are in debt.. with closet full of nothing to wear...  because we do not know what our style is... we are so often bombarded with images of what we should look like that we forget (or did not even find yet) what we want to look like!

Our clothes are suppose to tell a story about ourselves... our lives...  who we are... they are the outside image of what is inside...

Well, if this the case, I can say is that most people are just the same as they are all dress alike! But I know this is not true... we are all different... and is no one-size-fit-all fashion!  Despite what we are lead to believe!

Don't get me wrong.... I have been guilty of that for years too!  I use to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes every week!  New stuff would come into my home every other day or so... I had a humongous wardrobe... but still needed more... I was in debt... and stress... and sick...  I worked on this for years...  slowing and then controlling my shopping addiction...  but I am not out-of-the-woods!  I still have a weakness for "fashion" and "trends"...  but I have worked hard on figuring out who I am and what I love and what I want people to get from me when they see me walking down the street...

I went from a fashion victim to a stylish person...  is my style fashionable?  not at all...  but it is mine and it speaks of who I am...

All that said, I will now have to look into how I spend my $ on clothes...  and figure out what I can do to minimize my impact on those poor people... and our planet!

As I said earlier, I am giving myself a few more weeks to come up with something... some sort of a challenge to make things interesting...

Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste

love&peace,
chloe
xox
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