As you may know already, I like to reflect upon my life when my birthday comes by...not on New Year's day or around that time... to me, the years are marked more by the time I was born then anything else... It is more significant to me.
It makes birthday not as easy and perhaps I should stop doing that... I had said to myself, that this year, I would not do it... but it started happening again this year over the week end. I couldn't help it...
I will soon be 43! And I really have no problem with that... I am at a place in my life that I enjoy... I have a loving husband and a wonderful teenage son. I can work less hour doing something I love... I have sufficient time to do the things I love like reading, cooking, baking, walking and enjoying tea with friends... I have plans for short and mid-term... I am almost done with debt...
I am becoming more and more who I wanted to be... although, I will never be a psychologist, like I would have wanted to, I am becoming more at peace with that and I am trying to see that even without the degree in itself, people do come to me to talk things through - like they always did! I may not get the pay that comes with it, but the rewards of helping others is still there... and worth more then then money that could come out of it.
I am happy to say that 12 years after being diagnoses and just about 18 years after my first symptoms, I still have vibrant health... Becoming vegetarian, then vegan was the best thing I ever did for myself... Jumping on the minimalist wagon was the next best thing I did.... and as years passes by, I do not regret those decisions... and I am becoming more and more convinced that these are the best ways to live a healthy life... for myself, others and the planet. In doing so, I live a more compassionate life then I ever did...
I have become more assertive of those values of mine... as well as being a pacifist and environmentalist... I have had my share of ups and down about being able to "change the world" but I think that in a way, as long as with all of you guys, we are changing it. Slowly... but surely... I also discovered that I cannot be quiet about those things... and I cannot change my mind... Being a minimalist and vegan are the healthiest way to live... I wish everyone was... and then we would probably have peace on heart and a wonderful planet to live on... If I could, with a snap of my fingers change it all, I would. But I have come to realize that it doesn't happen like that.... I can try and talk about it and plant seeds in people's head but I cannot make that seed grow... it is up to each and everyone of them to do so. However, what I can do is keep on planting more seed.... and leading by example... Gandhi said "be the change" and I will keep on doing just that.
Time will take care of the rest...
Of course, going against mainstream comes with a price... but I do realize now that the rewards are so much more then the price to pay... it is all worth it! I can sleep better and look at myself in the mirror without being ashamed of who I am - as I am the best version of myself I could ever be... and day after day, I try and work on it...
Over the past year, I have lived a very simple life - simpler then ever before... I read a lot... met amazing people... traveled a little to discover my new part of the country... Perhaps I did not do as much yoga as I wish I could have done... I will work on that this year. Also, I probably spend, still, too much time on social media and not enough in nature... I will also try and address that this year...
All in all, it was a good year...
This year, I want to do more yoga and less social media... I also want to learn to spend more time in nature... These objective will help with mid-term goal.
I am looking forward to the next 3 years as I see my son mature and become a young adult... He has amazing plans that I am helping him on... He is turning into an great guy... and I am so very proud of him!
I am also looking forward to a few years after that as our retirement plans are awesome and I can't wait to do them. (Yes, as you can add up the years, I am planning to retire a few months before I turn 46!)
And yet, enjoying more and more here and now. I now feel free to have good and bad days... I feel free to be quiet... I feel free to not get back to everyone right away.... I feel free to do things that I like/love and not the other stuff... I feel free to cry when I feel like it.... smile when I want to... and laugh as loud as I feel like!
As my life becomes more and more enjoyable, I have an easier time to be here and now. I am not trying to run away of make up for things I don't like in my life... because I have cleaned those up...
In retrospect, being 42 was good! And I am expecting 43 to be even better... and I know it will be because I am the one to choose how my year will go.... no one else can do it for me!
Be who you are... DREAM your life... LIVE your dream...
namaste
love&peace,namaste
chloe
xox
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