I am only human

I have a confession to make....  I have been shopping over the last week end....  I do not feel guilty about it.... After 6 months of non shopping, it actually felt quite good!  I spent money for stuff I really like and that I will wear for years to come!  I could argue that it was essential and none of you would actually know as you do not know the content of my wardrobe and what I have been buying!  Truth is, it was not essential...  I have enough clothes!  But I REALLY wanted it... and it felt GREAT!!!  I have still manage to save 70% since everything I bought was on sale and had an extra discount on the last marked price!

Now, I could consider that I failed.... but I don't!  Yes I said I was not gona buy stuff... and I did manage to do it for 6 months!  For a former shopaholic, I consider this to be a considerable achievement!  Even my husband was impressed how long I manage to do this!  (I must also say that he still has not buy non essential stuff!  He is great!!!!)  This incident does not mean that I am going back to my old habit... I have no desire to do so.... and I will continue the year as I  started... 6 more months should be quite managable!  The amount of money I spend is what I would spend on average per pay check before this January!  So it is stil a considerable improvement!  I am only human... I am not perfet!  Perfection does not exist....  I had a moment of weakness... and it is over with!

However, admitting what people can perceive as a mistake or an error or even failure is not easy... And I long debated how to write about this in my own head... but I figured that just doing like I did in the other posts would be ok... I just said it!  No fuss or no trying to find reasons  or excuse myself... Here's what I did...  wether it was OK or not... who I am to judge...  it is just waht happen.... and I did not arm anyone... And it made me feel great!!!  It felt like Christmas!   Unlike when I was doing this every single pay check and not get satisfaction out of it...

Take care...
And do not hesitate to comment on what you think about that!!!
peace,
nath
xxx

Summer

School is finaly over...  for my son and many many more kids... this is a different period of the year...  no more studying and homework...  no more rushing in the morning... no more lunches...  I have a great opportunity this summer... my husband can use extra vacation time to spend with my son so he does not have to go to day camps!!!  he was really thrilled about this...  mom too considering less time plannning and making lunches and less time spent in traffic to drop off and pick up my son at day camp!  This is a real old fashionned summer like I use to have.... time to chill out and relax!  However, I did have a few worries..  I do not want him to spend all his days in front of the TV or playing with his XBox and or iPod... so I had to planned this out also... I took a summer membership at my near by city pool, a summer pass at La Ronde, I also have a membership at the Ecomuseum,  loaded his bus pass with tickets, inflated his bikes tires, got a couple of water gun and new fun books, also made a list of activities free or not that they can do over the week... like playing tennis, badminton, soccer, basketball, frisbee...  going to see a movie, to La Ronde, Ecomuseum or the pool... it is on the fridge... This should be real fun for all of us...  and an experiment for him who since he was 7 months old has always been rushed in the morning to go to daycare, then school and or day camp..  he did get a couple of weeks at Christmas but I think this will be very energizing for him... and he will finaly be able to completely relax for a couple of months like we used to be able to do... 

This is so exiting!!!

Mali

My son is in fifth grade.  A difficult year... with a curriculum already quite charged.... but his amazing teacher had them work on an humanitarian project for the last 5 months or so... The project was for Mali.  Karine 's aunt works in Mali, so for the last five year, she had been doing this project with her fift grade students to raise funds to help out mostly with school and medical care.  I think it is amazing that a 30 year old teacher and some of her co-worker/friends put so much time and energy outside of their obliged duty to show kids a valuable lesson.  Kids have learned that some kids on this planet are not as lucky as they are...  They are already quite privileged to live in Canada and even more so since their parents can afford to send them to private school!

They were taught about life in Mali.  We already know that they lack clean water and food...  education and medical care...  as most African country.  But did you know that not too long ago, kids were given out to the army in exchange for food?  That kids were kidnapped by the army to work there?  Mostly young girls... since they are not as valuable!  In the army, they would work in the kitchen, walk on mine field or even be in the first line of assault so they get killed first...  This is horrible... but Mali is at peace now, so no more of that!  Things CAN change...  and by working on this humanitarian project, this is what the 5th grader of Collège Jacques-Prévert are hoping to do!

The project consisted of small groups of kids, taking music from a song they like, writing lyrics about Mali for that music, singing, recording it and selling the CD (with lyrics included)... and ultimaltely, yesterday night was the fundraiser show where we got to see our kids, singing and dancing for Mali.  They had decorated the scene with drawings.  It is an amazing thing to see about 50 kids, all singing in harmony, no fighting or arguing, in order to help kids miles away... The CD sold for 10$ and all proceed is going to Mali since all expenses are paid for by generous people.  We have yet to find out the total amount of money collected...
Next year, kids will find out what their money was used for...

Yesterday night was very emotional and I can honestly say than more than once did a tear came to my eye... Especially when Karine and Emilie performed a song for that group of fifth grader they had got to know over the school year... It was a great gift from them to the kids who worked really hard on this!

It is very inspiring and I wanna say thank you to Karine, Emilie and anyone else who participated in this project! And mostly thank you to these kids for having done something very important and showing such a dedication to someone else then themselves!!!  They have a great future!!!

Change

I am always surprise at how not well we deal with change... at least most of us...
I was never good with change...  control freaks do not like change... especially that not imposed by themselves! It use to drive me crazy...  and make my body suffer...  I would not sleep at night, I would have eczema, zits, bite my nails...  it would make me a mess just anticipating it!

With time, I've gotten better at it... Still sometimes get not as good of a night sleep and/or some eczema but only in one specific spot instead of it covering all my body!  My yoga and meditation practice helps greatly in that sense...  When practicing yoga and meditation, it is surprising how little control you have over your body and mind... so you need to learn to let go! And you find out that in the end of your practice, everything turns out just fine... or even better!  Even more than if you try to control it!  Everything always works out in the end!

I have had many occasions in my life to learn that... I have had major health related issues, a car accident, a separation, job loss, business loss, bankruptcy, major depression of a beloved one, and I came so close to not being part of this world anymore that it is extremely surprising that I can write this blog... All that to say that I have been forced to deal with change and I came to realize that in the end, it always works out for the best!  Even when the worst possible thing happens, you grow from it and you become a better person! Of course, easier said then done.... I am not saying that I am perfect at this... I am in a stressfull part of my life now as my husband just loss his job...  but he as plans and he wants to try something else... something more in tune whit who is is then the job he was doing now...  it will ask yet more adjusment from us...  moneywise of course but also who knows what his work schedule will be, how the transit will go, the vacation time he will have... all these details can be nerve wracking... changes... he has been at the same job for so long that we had developped a routine...  and just assumed that nothing would change anymore.. but this is not how life goes! Never assume! Never take anything for granted!

Life brings you where you need to be... wether you want it or not!  And if you can figure out the message that it is trying to send you, you will be miserable.. however, when you try to listen carefully and understand, wonderfull adventures awaits you...

Now if you look more carefully at the big picture, life is a permanent change...  we grow older by the second... all our life!  we wake up in the morning and go back to bed at night... we do not stay permanently up or asleep... night follows day... monday follows sunday...  february follows january...  springs follows winter... sun follows rain...  warm follows cold... flower follows snow... and so on!  
So yes there are rough patches in life but there is always light at the end of the tunnel...

So for now, I try to meditate a lot to keep my calm... and see that in the end, my husband will be happier doing a lower paying job that he loves than a high paying one that he despises... ultimately, having a happy husband will be much better... than  a non happy one... for all of us!!!