Who are you?

Who are you? 

Do you even know?

I am not trying to offend anyone but realize I might!

I'm sure I did...

But bare with me...

But really... who are you?

Not your name, your gender, your age, where you live, what you studied, what you do to earn money... not which religion you belong to... not if you have a house, spouse, kids, pets... not where your last trip was and how long it lasted... or when your next is and where... all this, and so much more, I can find out easily... especially in this age of social media! 

All this, in a sense, most of the time, is what you were programmed to do the second you were born...

Whether you want to admit it or not.

Whether you believe it or not.

Who are you? 

The real, messy, fucked up you?

The one who feels lost... alone...

The one who found their real path... finally!

The one who suffered  who fell... but also got back up!

The one that shows up once the conditioning is undone.

The one you want to hide because you are afraid of what people will say...

The one you were before they told you who you should be?

The one in that split second before you were actually born and your path all designed for you... despite who you were suppose to be...

The one you were as a kid when no one was watching... before all the conditioning took place...

The one you still are sometimes... the one that comes out in time of crisis... or extreme joy... the one that shows up when you slow down... get in a silent place and just BE... the one in your dreams at night where you no longer control everything or anything...

I want to know what makes your heart beat, what keeps you up at night, what are you afraid of, grateful for? What makes you smile, tear up?

Who is that person?

Do you know?

You should really make an effort to know him/her.

It is the best version of who you are.

It is who you were suppose to be.

I did the work. It was long. Hard. Scary. Messy.

And I am not sure it is done... it takes a lifetime to do.

It was surprising in some ways but it ended up being very close to who I was as a child/teenagers... not the one I was showing up, but the secret one... the one I would allow to be when no one was watching... the one I would not speak about so much as I was shy to be different... the one in my diary...

It was hard but so much worth it.

I feel more at peace now than at any other point in my life.

I am confident. 

I am happy.

I am grateful.

I am ME. Simply... or not...

Here's who I am: passionate about nature and the environment, knowledge junkie, avid book reader, health freak, compassionate, everything makes me cry and smile... love to share my knowledge, write, knit... hate to cook and do laundry... I can spend hours looking at a bird, a butterfly, a tree, the sky, a lake, a river or the ocean... or any animal... nothing keeps me up at night anymore, I need my beauty sleep... I am passionate about finding me, yoga and meditation... and all that spiritual stuff out there... I want to be free by living in a van... I want to travel all over America... I am afraid of heights and planes... and cancer. I am not too fond of the Human race in general. I have a new found love for camping and star gazing... intrigued by fire... If I love you, I'll do anything I can for you... but if I feel betrayed, there is no going back. I am disciplined for stuff I care about but quite lazy for everything else... I do what makes me happy, not what is expected... I run away ftom any "conventions" or do called "societal rules"... don't tell me I can't do something cuz I will try! I don't accept no as an answer without explanation... I am too much in my head... I forget to say please too often but say thank you a lot...

This is me. Messy. Pretty. Complicated.

But aware. Present. Honest. 

So.... who are you?

Chloe  💜&✌