Again and again...

"The price of everything is the amount of life you exchange for it." Henry David Thoreau 

Am I the only one who always fall back into the same traps?
You don't have to answer... I know I am not!

This blog for instance... I love to write it. I do.

And then, someone puts into my head that since I love it so much, I could use it to make money... point me in that direction... and I start looking, I start studying HOW to do that! I know the theory. It is a lot of work and it has proven time and time again that it works.

Here I am, giving it a try because why not? If I am going to write, I should make money out of it! Right?

Not.

In order to have a successful, money making blog, you have to spend hours on blogs, social media, web site... like, comment, befriend, show your face. You have to give yourself clear subjects, specific words you reuse, a color chart, a tone, a frequency, style of  pictures, signature phrases, you have to follow a schedule, study your audience, look at your competitors, befriend the enemy... and the list goes on and on!

Well, THAT is not for me.
I don't want to do that. Any of it.
I am now aware of my pattern, my triggers and I am staying away from it all.

I am still writing here.
Because I love it. Because it has help me go through a lot of shit. It has help me see who I am. It has help me heal and move on. Not because I am popular.

I will still write here.
But screw popularity.
I am not here for the money. If it comes over time because people appreciate my uniqueness well good. It it doesn't that is fine too. It's the third time I get into that trap... and now it has become clear to my why.  So, no more.

This, to me, is a healing process and if it helps other I will be more than happy. 
I have very few readers and for the most parts I don't even know who you are... just where you are from. But I know you keep coming back.

I chose quality over quantity.

And quite frankly, I like it that way.
If I dig deep inside, and I am truly honest with myself, being "small" truly satisfies me.

Here's why:

I want to remain true to myself, write about what I want and when I want. I do not want to become a brand, a public figure, someone. I do not want to feel force to do something because I need a new picture to post or a new subject for my blog. I don't want to create expectations - I believe they are self-made jails.

I am not spending hours on social media weekly...
I am not getting a tone or a niche... or studying what you guys want or need...

I want to be happy. Free.

Simple makes me happy and free.

This is why I am an essentialist.
I chose. I prioritize. I value.

And what they say is needed to make that online business work is nothing I wish to chose, prioritize, value.

My voice is unique and so is that of other bloggers.
I wish not to compete with them.
There are 7  billion people on earth. Billions of people on line everyday... it is more than enough to share.

I just want to write. To heal. To live. Happy. Free.

I have the money I need. I am not in this for the money.

I am here to share. Period.

Plus quite frankly, I would feel fake as a minimalist/essentialist to join the race to the "biggest best minimalist blogger"! I chose this lifestyle to enjoy life. Real life. Not online life that consist of comparing myself to others to see who is the best blogger, the biggest youtuber, the best minimalist, the more awesome frugal person... etc...

I don't want to fuss over one less follower, or stress about why my audience did not grew last week...

I just want to live my life.
I refuse to be part of the online "Jones's".

So yes, I love you guys and I love to write so I will keep doing it. But nothing will change... it will be messy, unplanned, about anything and everything... because this is my voice. This is my blog. Not a business. Not a personal figure. It will not be "improved". In any way. I like it like that. It is just as imperfect and beautiful and awesome as me.

Hope you guys are OK with that.

Chloe 💜&✌