This morning when I woke up I felt business in my mind... and was somewhat cranky... which is rare! I usually wake up to a quiet peaceful mind... and in a good mood!!!
I am a morning person.... happy to be given a new full 24h to reinvent myself... most of the time anyway... however, I am currently undergoing major life changes and decisions will need to be taken soon... once I get a little more information on a few things... so this is not an easy part of my life... or maybe this is not the right word! It is not "not easy" but rather unstable... and I do not know when it will be and how it will be... but that's OK! I just have to calm my mind and root myself... and all will be good! It always is!!!
So when the alarm went off this morning at 5am, I took a few moment, like I always do, to evaluate my state of mind.... then rolled off my yoga mat and I knew what I had to do!!! No time to get busy and sweaty on the mat.... I needed to calm down, find my happy place... so this is what I did... and it worked! I was much more calm and happy after I did the following which took me roughly 35 minutes!
1) Deep breathing - thinking about nothing!!! Actually letting go, on my exhale, every thought that arise on my inhale - This took a long time!
Once my mind was calmer I did:
2) Alternate nostril breathing - inhaling calm and exhaling anxiety
3) Slow neck roll (right to left and left to right - not going back)
4) Child Pose
5) Used downward dog from child pose to transition to a standing position and stretch my legs
6) Mountain with my hand in prayer pose and eyes closed - observed that my mountain was still moving a little from front (future) to back (past) - Hold it until it was quiet again!
7) Tree pose - hand still in prayer pose - longest I could hold it on each leg - imagining the roots coming of my foot to create deep connection to the hearth
8) Another mountain pose with my arms up in the air and looking up - to get all the morning energy - This mountain was really stable!!!
9) Sat back on my mat for a few more minutes with deep breathing - calmness was there - nothing was in my mind but my breathing
After my yoga practice went to my shower, made my lunch got dress and walked to take the bus to work. During my walking I realized why I was anxious.... I had no Plan B!!!!
Let me explain... I have been working on something to make major life changes... I have simplified my life, streamline my finances, diminish my cost of living... all that for one specific reason - Working toward a goal (which I can't quite announce yet)... and I did not prepare and alternative!!!
I had Plan A all figured out.... and had a few obstacles but never prepared Plan B or Plan C!!! I have put everything in my one and only Plan A!!! And as I am getting closer, I get scare!!! What if???
I have always had Plan A, B and C in my life... ALWAYS!!! and ALWAYS ended up doing Plan B or C because A never worked out (guess that shouldn't have surprise me)!!! This time I did not make a Plan B or C (not because I didn't want too - only because I could not find one!)... because all I really want is for A to happen... so I have put everything in this one only!!!! All my energy... all my time... all my knowledge... all my money saved from living with less... EVERYTHING!!!! This is why it is scary.... but possibly also why this time Plan A will work out!!!
You have to believe in what you are doing! You have to find what really appeals to you!! What makes you feel good and do it... over and over again! And find a way to make money while doing it!!! Enough that you can eventually live off of it!!!
Now this may require that you make change to your lifestyle and/or priorities... it will require hard work, long hours... especially during the transition.. it will require sacrifices!!! But is is all worthwhile once you know WHY you're doing it... especially when the WHY is your choice! Your calling... It barely looks like sacrifices...
I am getting to a point now where I can start seeing the end result... and the worrier in me, which is less and less often present, like to come and play with my mind sometimes... and tell me "what if plan A doesn't work out? you have no other plan... what will you do then? and why should it work... it never did!" (as I am writing this, I can hear him and he sounds really annoying!!! lol)
I like to tell that side of me that my Plan A never worked because they were not truly mine... and I never really invested in them all I had (and I am not talking about $)... they never really made me happy... and they were not what I was suppose to do in life... and that now that I know THIS is what I should be doing and I have put all those efforts in it and it is the ONLY thing that makes me really happy IT WILL WORK!!!!!
THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION.....
Maybe, after all, putting all your apples in the same basket can actually pay off (in all possible ways)!!!!
love and peace,
nath
xox
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