Earlier in September I declared a month long shopping ban which, a few weeks later, turned into a year long shopping ban.
The initial one had forced me into looking more closely at my wardrobe and made me realize that, once again, I ended up with too many clothes. Way too many. Even though over the years I had learn to wear 80% of my clothes, 80% of the time (contrary to most people who wear 20% of their clothes, 80 % of the time), I could only do so because I would change my outfit twice per day! It didn't made sense. Also, I would sometimes force myself to wear something so that I can claim I am wearing ALL my clothes! Stupid! I KNOW!!! It also made me see that I had not broke free of the endless cycle: buy clothes, wear clothes, purge wardrobe, rinse and repeat. My actual addiction to clothes was STILL there. My spending money on clothes was still to much. Way too much. Even though I can afford it, maybe I'd like to have more funds available for more experiences! Thrifting and sales were not a reason to get more - they are meant to spend less. My wardrobe, my clothes and my outfits were actually defining me. It seemed way too superficial for what I wanted to achieve... for who I want to be.
I always have in the back of my head those words from Charlize Theron in Sweet November: "...clothes are just meant to cover your body...". It is so RIGHT. So very smart and sometimes I have to admit I watch the movie only for that... as a reminder. Plus the super timeless funky outfits! You can, even with a smaller wardrobe, cover your body in style!
So I started looking into ways to break the cycle... the endless cycle, and as it turns out, every one said to do a year long shopping ban on clothes. So I opted for it... I did try it before but it was way too early in my recovery so it failed... and failed... and failed. Again. This time around, I am happy to say that besides the winter boots and hat I had included in my exceptions, as I really needed them where I live, I have stayed clear of buying clothes. Almost two months. I actually have no desire to buy clothes. Honestly.
When I set out to do the challenge initially, I had many items... and when I looked into options to break the cycle, I also realize that hanging on to everything "just because" no longer made sense... I also came across a strict method to curate my closet. It took my a week of "let's do this" and then "but you'll have nothing left and you'll have to buy but you can't"... but I finally decided to do it. No matter what. I emptied my closet and put everything on my bed. EVERYTHING. I then tried everything on because I knew that I had lost 12lbs over the summer and that obviously some clothes would no longer fit... even though I tried to make them fit pretexting they were just a more baggy, relaxed look! To help me out I used the following questions:
1) Do I really like this item? Would I buy it again?
2) Do I force myself to wear this?
3) Is there something in my schedule requiring such an item? (eg, formal dress)
4) Is this the actual me or the "old" me that I am hanging on to?
5) Does it really fit me?
and forced myself to be brutally honest. It took a couple of hours... but,
I ended up donating 1/3 of my closet and putting aside a few more items just in case - but by the end of my shopping ban, if I did not go back to wear them they will also be donated. I also put all my hangers backwards and every time I wear something I turn it around. This will ensure that I wear everything in my closet over a year. So far, so good!
Looking more closely into my wardrobe and being really honest was hard. Really hard. However, really eye opening. It gave results and it kind of help me realize that I had some clothes because they were the right thing to own, or because they reflected my age or in case I was seeing specific people (basically a disguise) or, and this is my favorite, because people would compliment me on them. Really? Almost 46 and still looking for outside validation. Enough.
I came to realize that I am a jeans/t-shirt/flannel shirt/ sweater/cardigan/boho tops type girl! The simpler the better. The more layers, the better. I can wear long jeans, short jeans, jean skirt... most of my bottoms right now are jeans. The only other things I really like are corduroy or velvet. I now own very few bottoms outside jeans and I am not sure they will all make the cut. As for footwear, Birkenstock, ankle boots, hiking boots! Period. This is the REAL me. This is how I am comfortable and from now on, it will be take it or leave it.
Only barely two months into my shopping ban and I feel like I have come so far!
Next in my journey, finding more sustainable ways of shopping for clothes. Wearing your clothes until they are unwearable is one option. Thrifting is another that I am aware of but sometimes it feels nice to get something new right? There must be stores out there that have good quality jeans or other stuff I like, ethically made at a decent price... I will research that and I will also look at the documentary "The true cost" again as if I recall correctly they were hinting at better options!
Have you gone through your wardrobe recently and pin point at the ghosts in it?
Chloe 💜&✌
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