Not always easy...

I will dare do what very few people do...  yet again one might think...

I don't know if you think about this or have realized it but you probably did...  when you look at social media, everything is always so pretty... rarely do you see a picture of someone right out of bed on a bad morning... or a couple fighting... or kids screaming their head out...  or people dying (unless it has to do with "smoking is bad for you")... or bad things happening to good people...  rarely will someone post about having to spend their vacation in because they had to get braces for their kids and just lost their job... and yet, all these are real life shit.  It happens. To real people.  Everyday.

Social media have become the Joneses

Same for blogs...  I use to follow tons of blogs written by people that are vegan, minimalist, frugal, healthy eating, better living...  etc...  All those blogger, or the vast majority of them seemed flawless... they had it all figured out! Like all those happy pretty go lucky people on social media!  They talk about their amazing results... paying off their debt, losing tons of weight, fighting off cancer, having publish their 10th book, traveling the world...  like there is no limit.

And I got annoyed....

It made me feel as if I was the only one having some bad days.  Ever.

Yeah yeah, yeah... I know the secret.  The Universe is limitless.  You can do anything. Everything happens when you really want it to...  you attract what you send out... and so on... but COME ON!!!

Everyone slip and fail sometimes...  Life is not a straight line, working toward a goal is not a straight line.  There are ups and downs... and detours.

So I started unfollow people, unsubscribe to some blogs...  people who seemed fake, too good to be true...  people who were so into their image that they would not let the flaws shine through. And is it me or messy and flaw is really sexy???

Of course I follow positive people, I like pretty pictures of nature and stuff but I also want honesty, and feel like you are not lying to me or hiding the big mess behind.

I am all for pretty.
I am all for honesty.
I am all for authenticity.
I think they can co-exist.

The truth is, the Universe IS limitless.  But Humans are not.  We have backgrounds, and the right connections or not, we all have patterns and conditioning that we need to sort out...  we all do it at our own pace.  And no one is always in a good mood and stress free and THAT pretty! NO ONE.  Ever!

So if I am following you, I want so see the good of course as source of motivation and hope, but I also want to see the bad and the ugly.  What have your struggles been? Where did you fail? When did you wanted to give up?  Why did you? Or did you not?

I try and be positive all the time.  I try and post only nice things.  Because I feel like this is what will attract more followers, more like, more readers... but quite frankly, on some days it is just to damn hard.  And I let the messy out and I've notice that those are actually the post that seem to be read the most! It feels like I am not the only one looking for authenticity.  And I think, that I will stay positive and motivating but I will be a little more true, a little more honest, a little more authentic.

Today is one of those days.  A messy one.  One where I wonder why I bother so much?  Why I try to not waste food, and not spend money and buy ethical clothes... Why do I always watch what I eat? Why am I so strict with my writing and reading and yoga practice? WHY??? I really do wonder! 

WHY THE f@#K DO I BOTHER???

(and then I write here and it becomes more clear)

But it doesn't mean I am giving up... I know why I do it.  I know it matters to me.  And is the most important thing.  You and I  have to do what matters to you and I.

I bother because I live with a chronic illness and if I am not that discipline, I would not be as healthy as I am now - I have to avoid certain food, stay as lean as I can, do my yoga to manage stress, write because it helps me to get rid of my patterns and conditioning, read because it keeps my brain active, allows me to learn more and also is a way to run away from reality sometimes...

I don't want to waste food because people are starving all over the world so who am I to waste the food that could save their life?

I bother because no one should develop a nervous system disorder because "those jeans are so pretty" or "this actress wears that dress"... and kids should be kids, not slave of clothes manufacturing  industry - no matter where they were born.

And I could go on and on...  there are so many things that could go better on this planet...

I have to care... and so do you.

BUT IT IS NOT EASY.
Nothing ever worth doing is.

Of course, when I feel down, it would be easier to stuff my face at McDonald's and grab the credit card and go on a shopping spree... easier on the short run (I use to do it I know).  But not on the long one.  And I am planning on being here for the long run.  So I take the rough way.  I don't always succeed...  I fail...  and try again... and again.  For example, when I set out to do a No Spend November but end up with 3 red days - I could have hidden it from you - who would have know?  I would.  I like honesty and authenticity in others but mostly in myself.  So this No Spend Month will have to get another try...  until I get it!

So how do I do it?

I keep my objectives in mind.  I write them every where.  I repeat them all the time.

And when I want to give up, I breathe.  And cry.  I do cry.  A LOT!!!

And let it pass...  because it always does.  And then I get better. And I keep on trying.

For those of you who have witness a baby wanting to stand up and walk...  have you ever seen one just standing up and walk a mile on the very day they decide to do it? of course not... they grab on something to first learn to stand up...  and fall... then they walk assisted...  and fall again.. and then, days or weeks  (sometimes months) later, they are on their own... but they still fall when going to fast or trying to run... for a few years...

Well tell yourself this, anything you set out to do is like a baby learning to walk... it takes time, dedication and you will fall.  Unless you are not human.  Or a liar.

On that note, I will go read a book...  to just feel good and forgot all about my messy life... cuz today, it is what it feels like:  a big messy one!

Even if I know I have tons of people around me to be grateful for. And overall a pretty awesome life.

If you liked this please share... tks

Chloe 💜&✌