Years ago, when I was going through a major life crisis, I turned to Yoga... and Feng Shui.
For guidance. For help.
They were a life savior!!!
In many ways...
The point is, they changed the way I see things which resulted in a new life for me. Because things can be any way in your life, all that matters is how you see them and what you do with it. It's up to you. You can turn lemon into lemonade!
Minimalism
I discovered what was then mostly known as a new trend: minimalism.
Minimalism can be describe in length and in many different ways... it seems that many different minimalist have a different version of what it it. But essentially, you get down to the minimum. Your minimum. Less is more. This is not a competition, what ever point you are comfortable with as a minimum is all right. Ideally, all you have, you love and use on a regular basis. And that point changes all the time... You need less and less stuff as you get into that mentality.
I started by decluttering my home. Then my agenda. Then my life in general. Lather, rinse, repeat...
I did this for years... sometimes falling back into the vicious circle or hyper consumption. After all, this is the society we live in and I, like most of us, am not immune to it. It's a trap. It is a multi-billion dollars trap conceived by really smart and well educated specialists.
They make you feel like you are not enough. Like you could do better. Like you are almost there.
Always like the grass is greener on the other side.
Always by comparison, by flashing those picture perfect ideal lives that could be yours too. Easily. At a cost. Of course.
So I struggled. I wanted to be a "minimalist" but it was back and forth. I would get rid of certain things and get a little more back... always never as much so overall, my number or amount of things kept decreasing but it was not a steady line. Life rarely is a steady line. Although I enjoyed and breathed more easily every time I purged a little more, something was not quite right. Something was missing. I was torn between a call for a life of less, where I felt good and being afraid of missing out. A feeling that kept coming back. Over and over again.
This is where my meditation and yoga practice came in handy.
Essentialism
The thing is, by meditating and doing yoga on a regular basis, I got to know the best person ever... my best friend... the only one I can really count on and will always, always be there for as long as I live: ME.
By getting to know me, I got to figure out what my values are, what my priorities are. And knowing this is the key. The key to finding out what really matters to me. What I truly care for.
Once I figured out what mattered to me, I became a little bit more immune against the so called American dream. I came to realize that perhaps there was more to life than what they are trying to sell us. Maybe life is more than stuff, and things??? And maybe the grass is greener on the other side because they watered it, not because they bought it recently, or new or from a more expensive brand!
By knowing what I truly cared for and wanted to be in my life, I came across a new notion called: Essentialism.
You can read my post about essentialism
here if you wish too but basically, it is the notion that less is more only if it is what is essential to you. It is difficult to be a minimalist if you have to follow rules and numbers and restrictions... about everything and anything! Perhaps travelling is your thing, and clothes are mine... and that's OK! The notion of essentialism introduce the fact that you have to pick and choose what matters to you... and then concentrate on that at the expense of what matters less... or not at all!
Essentialism is about making choices. About quality over quantity. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Well, technically this is a bad example as why would you have a cake if you don't eat it??? It would just be a waste. Hahaha! But you get what I am saying... you have a finite amount of time and money. This might change at any point in your life but it is always finite in some ways. So right now, what you do wish to spend you finite amount of time and money on???
Where will you put your available resources to create the life you want? And to know the answer to that question, you need to know yourself. Because if you don't, you will invest your time and money in the wrong place... in places other people decide you should invest time and money. And you will be unhappy, feel like something is missing and be right back to square one believing all those publicist saying that there is more, there is better than your life!
If you are not satisfied with yourself and your life, you are exactly the person the publicist are after. This is what they do, they create a sense of dissatisfaction to sell their stuff to you.
And THAT was my main problem. I was so busy learning and mastering who I was suppose to be that I never took the time to know who I was. Until a few years back. It was a long process of trial and error but a very rewarding one. I took the time I had to get to know me. I invested my finite amount of free time into getting to know me.
Once I figured out what I really care about,
what makes my world go round (I have a label for those posts in the left column), life has become much more easy!
Once I figured out how I wanted to invest my time and money, I became less and less sensitive to those publicity. I started seeing them for what they are: sellers of a fantasy life that will never happen as there will always be more to be wanted and wish for... as the make you believe that you will never be good enough!
I am not saying I am completely insensitive to it... no one can. Or maybe monks can but for us living in the real world, having to be in a city... working... shopping... using the Internet, watching movies, seeing magazine cover (even if it's just waiting in line at the grocery store), there will always be some contact with publicity, with made up images or fake life that looks better than yours.And there will always be bad days where you are more prone to fall pray to it... but I have minimize those days a lot. I have learn to recognize my triggers and not (always) fall victim to it. Find your triggers. Heal them.
Once you know what you care for, and what your want your life to be like, this is where frugality comes in. You'll have to make choices. Inevitable. But, frugality can make your finite amount of money seem like much more.
Frugality
For years, I called frugal people "cheap". No offense intended. Really. I just did not get it! I didn't know better. And don't get me wrong... there is such a thing as being "cheap" but being frugal does not mean you are. Let me explain.
Once you have minimize your possession to a level you are comfortable with. Once you opt out of the endless consumerism cycle because you figured out what matters to you, what are your essentials. Once you know where to spend your time and money to be happy and feel fulfilled, you still have to make choices. Life is made up of constant decision making. Choices to make.
Even though going for only what is essential to you would be nice, it is not always possible. You still need a roof over your head (most of us do anyway), clothes to dress yourself (again, most of us wear clothes), food to feed your body and then there are utilities like heating or cooling depending where you live, phone, Internet, etc... and sometimes you have a car or other means of transportation. None of this is free, let alone cheap. Your living expenses take over most of your budget probably.
This is where frugality comes in handy.
Even amongst the inevitable life cost, some choices can be made. So let's say you have a budget covering all your expenses and you are still "short" somehow. You miss just a little to design your ideal life but you have no idea where or how to get more money. And working more or taking a second job is out of the equation as it would leave you with less of the other finite resource: time. You can make frugal lifestyle choices at that point to help you live the life you truly desire without getting a bigger income. It will feel like you have more money available for what you truly care for.
But you'll have to make choices.
Thoreau said "I make myself rich by making my wants few".
Frugality is a little about that...
For example, when my husband I decided that I would retire last February, we looked at out budget and the impact my small income would have on it. We looked at how much money we would need for doing what we really care for: going for coffee regularly, camping and enjoy nature. We were not "short" by very much but we decided to move into a "cheaper" apartment as we care for a clean and safe place but not luxury, we started using the car less to save on gas, we cut out Internet service during summer, we eat out much less and spend less in coffee shops and we buy less clothes! All those dollars saved here and there adds up and it gives us enough to go camping a lot more and spend more time on vacation. Only those decisions/choices we made added up to about 3000$ saved!
We also started looking at out food budget. We like to eat healthy but we do not care so much about it otherwise. So we used many ways to save on our grocery bill. This will actually be the subject of my next blog post. But I can say that we decreased our food budget (including toiletries and household products) from around 1000$/month to 600/month did freed up more money. The fact that my son is only there part time now does help... but still.
We looked at our electricity bill and lowered it by about 10%. By being smarter about using my oven, by not using a hair dryer now that I shave my hair, by lowering the heating at 15C during the night and when we are not home, by not taking as many baths to warm up at night but rather use a hot water bottle tucked into blankets and wear a hooddie, by unplugging anything that is not being use (phantom electricity is expensive), by using less "lights" at night... all those add up to!
You see? You can look at where every penny goes and think it through. Even though you need food and electricity, you can make miracles and save there also! Not only in the fun stuff.
This is being frugal. Even though it most often has a negative connotation, it simply means that you watch where your money goes... and adjust as necessary to re-direct it as much as possible towards what makes you happy! And we are back to essentialism and minimalism.
So the way I see it, to be a happy minimalist you kind of need to understand essentialism... and frugality helps you have the same amount of money go an extra mile... or two!
But in the end, what really truly matters is that you are satisfied with YOUR life and that you live it the way YOU want. Not the way someone else intended you to live to bring more money into their pockets and leave you feel miserable. And that you are not enough. Or that you do not have enough.
Because you are. And you do. More than enough.
What does your dream life look like? Your actual dream life? Do you even know? Did you figure it out yet or not quite?
if you liked what you read, please share,
Chloe 💜&✌
