New blog on Wordpress.com

Hello guys!

For those of you who still come here, you might be interested in knowing that I have a new blog on wordpress.com instead.
Look me up

www.Chloesyogiclifestyle.home.blog

Hope to see you there!  💜

This is it... really.

Well... this is it.

You know I've had a love /hate relationship with this blog.
For many reasons...
It is time to pull the plug... to say good bye!
For good.

I can't keep looking back.
I can't keep going back to what had once been good to me in the hope it will still be.
I need to go forward...

I will not disappear. You can find me on Instagram.
Chloe_peace_72
I will keep on posting things but in fewer words.
You can always contact me directly and I will answer your questions.
With great pleasure.
I know some of you do.
And I love it.

I am removing all goals, objectives, challenges and rules... from my life.

I will do me.
Simply.
See where that brings me.

My life will still be simple.
It will revolve around yoga/meditation/pranayama and camping.
This will guide me for the rest... for the details...

It was great bring here for 8 years.
It is time to move on.

Good bye
Take care of yourselves...

Love always
Chloe 💜&✌

2 done (or almost), 10 to go!

Well February is done! Or pretty much...

Let's start with finances. 

This month was smooth sailing... my financial objective got clearer. I know why I am doing this.

I already know that I won't spend today as I am staying in (and not buying online as my credit card is not being used).
I also know that I will pay rent on Thursday... and buy food.

I bought yoga pants, it gave me an "orange" day but I am fine with it.

I am getting really, really close to paying off my credit card! Perhaps within 200$.... we'll see! We really did all we could this month to get this over with...

My food and coffee budget were well respected. I am really happy with that.

Monthly challenge.

I had challenged myself to read 8 books. Well I did... and a 9th one is on the go. Here is the list of the books I read... I really did enjoy all of them!!!

1) tout ce que nous pourrions etre toi et moi so nous n'etions pas too et moi (Albert Espinosa)
2) mon amoureux est une maison d'automne (Mara Tremblay)
3) je ne suis pas une heroine (Nicolas Fargues)
4) no impact man (Colin Beavan)
5) je suis le genre de fille (Nathalie Kuperman)
6) la Havana mon amour  (Zoe Valdes)
7) la delicatesse (David Foenkinos)
8) at home in the muddy water (Ezra Bayda)
9) les vents contraire (Olivier Adam)

Most of them are available in English even though I read them in French - I like to read novel in my first language,  it is more of a distraction...

And last but not least...

A shift happened in me this month...
I had set out to do this year to figure a few things out...
I had mentioned before that I feel like I am all over the place sometimes... talking about nutrition, minimalism, camping, knitting, yoga, meditation, the environment, finances, books and my feelings...

I figured out that the common thread is, and had always been: YOGA!

It all goes back to this... yoga has changed my life in so many ways... but perhaps, because people assume yoga is a physical activity requiring extreme balance, flexibility and strength I used other words... but the big picture of my life is being a yogi. Yes I do some asanas and meditation but I also embrace all the yamas -or try to! It is a work in progress.

I am unsure as to where this will lead me during the course of this year but I know that as of now, it results in changing my other monthly objectives... but more on that in a later post.

I also realize that I need to blog a little less for now... maybe a couple times a month will do. I will be more present and explicit on Instagram as this media seems to work well with me for now.  You can always find me there : chloe_peace_72

And one last thing. I really enjoy one-on-one exchange so if at any time you wish to talk with me about anything you know I am passionate about do not hesitate to contact me. There's a link on the right!

That's it for now...

Chloe   💜&✌

Struggling a little this week...

This might be a shorter post than usual... or not (apparently, once I revise it!)

I have been struggling a little this week.  I said I would always be honest with you guys...  this is me doing that.

Although I didn't really cheat on my challenge and I am quite happy with the decision we made as a couple, something didn't feel quite right. And it was a familiar feeling.  Thanks to me writing down mostly everything and a regular meditation practice, after a few days of feeling down and a very verbal discussion with my husband, I have pinned it down to what the issue is.

This feeling happens to me regularly.  At first I thought it was just a seasonal thing but after a couple of years of taking notes, I can finally say that it is not seasonal.  It is not hormonal. Or linked to the moon.  It is link to something I do.  Something I feel like I have to do.  Something I impose on myself...  for who knows what reason???  Well, technically, I did find out the reason...

This time, it was trigger by this challenge of no spend year I embarked upon beginning of January 2019 and reading the book "No impact man" by Colin Beavan.

About the challenge

If you look in years past on this blog, I have been more or less active...  And you cannot see that but I can, the number of readers have varied greatly.  Due to numerous factors.  Some because of me, some out of my control.

The thing is, no matter how many people are reading me, I always start being more active here because I need it.  Writing makes me feel better and allow myself to self analyze... I need it.  Like some need to run. I love writing my thoughts, even if sometimes they can be all over the place.  I do not consider myself a writer.  Or even think that I am very good at blogging.  I hardly if ever re-read myself.  It's almost as if putting it down here, allow me to free myself from those thoughts and move on. Like a journal... but one that doesn't "waste" paper or hurt my hands.

Then, I get into this thinking mode that if I am to write, I should get more readers.  If I can write, if I have something to say, I should find more people to read it.  Therefore it is not a "waste" of my time.  And I know I have blogged about this before... but I am here again.  I need to figure it out again! At that point, I get more present on social media - mostly Instagram and a little Facebook. I reactivate my Pinterest and Twitter...  just to announce a new blog post.  And then I get in the number game... tracking my numbers, and like and page views... and it does go up.  Exponentially of course.  But slowly. It is mathematical after all.  But at what cost?  I get back into feeling like I need to take pictures of everything... like I need to create experiences and events and nice view to show you guys. I create new crazy challenges... Like this " my year of tying up loose ends".  Like I need to be someone.  Better. To put myself out there.  But I am an introvert...  and out there is NOT for me.  It doesn't make me happy in the end...

It stresses my out.  I feel imprisoned.

It's as if I am trying to achieve something that is not for me.  Something that won't make me happier.
But something I have to do. Something I feel obliged to do.

About the book.

"No impact man" is an even crazier challenge than  what I am doing.  Then I ever done. It was cold turkey major life changes overnight almost. Very unlike my small step approach.  I admire this guy for what he did.  It took a lot of courage.

I had seen the documentary years ago but reading the book , you get a different look on the experiment.  He struggled too.  He second-guessed himself.  He learned a great deal about himself during that year and sharing those discoveries in the book made me realize a few things about myself.

Mostly that I am probably to attached to my accomplishment. Especially for someone working on non-attachment.  And it is hurting me.  Hurting my relationships to my family by putting to much stress on me and therefore them.

Something that is worth doin is worth doing well.

And because I was raised to do good.  To do more.  To do better.  Like most of you I think,  the challenges keep getting more difficult...  and my expectations more strict. And I drive myself crazy and I get stress about raising the numbers, tracking everything, finding something to write about or a picture to post... I compare.  Compare myself to what is out there on social media.  Compare myself to other people, people who are doing nice things but in their own way.  People I admire and respect but do not necessarily wish to be. People who can be source of inspiration but I do not want to compete with them.  Nor with ayone.

And because even though I am not an all or nothing girl, I feel like I need to invest myself at 100% or more, it is way too demanding...  and I know I can do it.  I know if I set my mind to do something I will.  I did in the past. But the question always comes back to "but do I really want to?".  And I have had this discussion with my husband and with one of my best friends... I can do those things I have challenge myself too.  After 47 days, new habits have been created and most actually do agree with me...  I haven't even think about buying clothes to be honest. I have almost paid off all my credit card.  I have money in my savings account.  I am creating less and less waste.  I am simplifying my diet and lowering my food budget. I no longer buy books or magazine - and I haven't for a while.  I cut my own hair.  I do not dye my hair or wear make up.   All this is pretty amazing I think.  For me anyway.

Now back to that saying I grew up with... what is "doing well"? Where do I draw the line at I am doing this well, or above and beyond, or not quite good enough??? Who's judging? Who is grading? NO ONE but myself... or maybe some are but should I really care about it?

I entered this year for me. And my family. To get control over my finance.  To prove to myself that I can if I want, do better with my money.

I didn't enter this year to feel miserable. Life is about more then rules and restriction.  More then asceticism. Life is about "sparking joy" as per Marie Kondo. And my friend Nikki.

What does "spark joy" in me? 

Well, for this, I can always go back to my "what makes my world go round" posts.  But essentially, I get joy for the small tings in life: taking a walk, having a chai, reading a book, a fireplace, the birds, the clouds, the trees, simple food, my yoga practice, knitting and clothes.  And of course my loved ones!

And to be honest, if I cut down any of these, there are no joy.  I feel miserable.  And even though I know life is not a straight line of happiness, self induce misery is simply stupid.  There is enough misery going around for everyone - why create some extra for me??? What good is it?  Who benefits from that?

So, I know I can do this.  I know I can follow all the rules I created for myself for this year...  but do I really want to?  I do agree with most of them.  I am confident they will not make me feel miserable.  But there is one, I know I can do it.  But I also know that I don't really want to!  And you've guessed right:  the year long shopping ban on clothes.  I hinted it in my last post that you can read here. Now I know I do not want to go back to my hold habits.  But I do know that I will want to buy clothes before January 2020. I just need to figure out what works for me.

It takes real honesty and maturity to come clean.

I had to think about this for a while.  I had to be honest with myself first.  And then be mature enough to write about it.

I know I put myself up for criticism.  I know there might be people thinking that I "failed", that I "gave up".  Again.  I know this is how I felt about myself at first, so I am not the only one.

But after further thinking about it, I know that admitting that something is not for you takes courage. Saying that I think I do my part... that I keep working on myself and that this is enough for now is opening Pandora's box.  And I can do that.

I try.  And sometimes fail.  And sometimes give up - not because I am not good enough but rather because I bite more than I can chew off at once.  I am trying to do a life's long work into a few years...  I claim that you can go far with small steps and I try and do giant ones!!!

Why?  I am by no means any better than any of you... I am just an average Joe! Doing an average life! Trying to do the best I can not to hurt to many people and our lovely planet! I cannot save it all by myself...

The butterfly effect.

I used to think that the flap of my wings would create a hurricane elsewhere...  but there is more than one dimension to this butterfly effect. And perhaps, I am not the butterfly creating the hurricane but the butterfly next to me, who started flying because I did, will.  And that's OK. Or maybe it is just 20 of us who will eventually create the hurricane...  who knows?  who cares?

Really, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that I am happy with the life I lived.  I am the one who has to deal with my decisions and my life design...  no one else.

As a result...

I will eventually come up with what would be acceptable for me to buy clothes.  My happy medium between getting the clothes I love and not harming anyone or the planet.  Not too much anyway. I can already tell you that I did order yoga pants online.  They are fair trade. I needed those pants because after years of doing yoga at home in my PJ's, I need to go to a studio to meet like minded people... I also need to practice outside more in the summer.  I cannot do either in my PJ's.

Also, I will write here of course.  But for me first.

And I will most likely decrease my presence on social media - mostly Instagram.  I will close down my Twitter and Pinterest account again. I will not force myself to take pictures... or to go and see the number of likes. Or page views.

I will step away and I am really looking forward to my May 1st - August 31st Internet free home.  I could do it now but pretty sure my son would not be impressed!  I cannot think of myself only...  this is a family and if I need a happy medium for me, I also need  happy medium for the family!

any thoughts?

Chloe 💜&✌

Day 44: Second guessing myself

Life would be so simple if we could be barefoot and naked all the time! 

Although I am not one who is comfortable showing off her body...  but that is another story! 

I am now on day 44 of 365 of "my year of tying up loose ends".

I embarked upon this year to challenge myself and get even closer to the person I am. To stay away, for good from the person I had been told I should be. 

I wanted to deepen my spirituality practice, spark my creativity and refine my finances.  I wanted all those aspects of my life to be more in tune with the life I am designing for myself.  And my future self.

We have had a bad realization: my future self will not be able to live in a van the way I planned to.  We cried. We healed. We adapted. 

My spirituality practice is going somewhere I like...  I am more and more constant in my practice. Although I would like for it to be longer and morning and nights.  I am working on that. Small steps. 

My finances are doing great.  It is amazing what 44 days of not spending money here and there can do! My credit card is almost paid.  My couch is paid. 

My biggest challenge is not buying clothes for a year. I am a reformed shopaholic sometimes still struggling with my relationship to clothes. And this is where I am second guessing myself...

In 44 days, I didn't really think about clothes.  I am truly satisfied with what I own.  I wear all my clothes.  I think I did pretty good at avoiding the post Holiday sales and end of season sales...  I did go to the mall a few times so temptation was there!  And even though I have unfollowed and unsubscribe to anything and anyone who sale clothes, new ones they found their way to me...  sponsoring on social media!  If only I could cut all the publicities on social media?!? Is there a way to do that?

I am confident I can do this.  After 44 days, my desert have been crossed... my new habits formed... I know I have got this under control. I just know. Period.

BUT, do I want to do it? What is it going to achieve? Am I gonna be happier depriving myself of something I really love?  Is it really that bad if I buy clothes reasonably within budget and that I wear them?  What if on top of that they spark joy when I buy them and when I wear them? Is there a better way to achieve my goal and get my addiction under control? After all, people who are addicted to food cannot stop eating completely...  as we cannot walk around naked!  So eventually I will have to buy clothes...  

What should I do?

There must be a better way where I am happy and in control... 

So I went back to think over what are my issues with shopping for clothes:

1) I can do it uncontrollably.

2) It cost a lot of money per usage

3) Is is not ethical in most instances - abusive labor, unsafe working conditions,...

4) Is is one of the most polluting industry in the world (especially with fast fashion now)

Now is there a way I could handle every single one of those issues in a way that I am happy with, that doesn't interfere with the life I want and my values?

1) Perhaps I could set rules for myself.  A fixed amount monthly or per season?  A percentage of my monthly savings? Maybe only buy when someone is with me so I cannot hide it?  Be accountable to someone? 

2) Wear it more - but this would entitle having less... so should I do one in-one out? To insure that I never have too much?  But then how do I choose the item that has to go? Maybe set a number of clothes per season I can have... and as long as I stay within that number I am fine.  But then how do I set that number??? And I need to understand that every piece of clothes I buy takes this much money out of travelling/camping - which is honestly what has got me going so far!!!  I so want to be out in the woods as much as possible this summer!!! What do I love more:  camping or clothes? Or do I love them equally??? Do I really have to pick and choose or can they co-exist in my life?

 Or do I  buy for less: thrift shopping? 

3) Look for ethical sustainable brands.  But they are quite often expensive... and not often my style as far as I know - except maybe for two brands (American Apparel and Prana). And then I need to pay for shipping and there is air travel which is quite non-ecological! So it brings me back to thrift stores...

4) Stay away from fast fashion... and look for more ecological brand.  So I am back at 3)! But then I love H&M...  would doing their Conscious or LOGG lines be acceptable? Am I voicing my concern by doing so? And they do recycle your old textile - as far as I am concerned, they are the only store doing that!  That must be worth something no?  Or just encouraging the fast fashion store? And what about American Eagle and Old Navy?  LOVE those store...  If I buy fast fashion but wear it a LOT!  Is that OK???

This also brings me back to thrift stores! If you buy second hand clothes, you are not using up new resources, you are not encouraging sweat shops by increasing the demand, you are not letting perfectly good wearable pieces go to the landfills...  but then again, you have to find something you love and fits you! It is not always easy!  And what about those items I am not as comfortable wearing second hands, like t-shirts or anything that gets in touch with your armpits? Is it just me or touching someone else's armpit gross??? 

I guess this post doesn't bring any answers... not definite ones anyway!  It seems like I have a lot of thinking to do about all that! 

Obviously, for now, I am still on my clothes shopping ban.  I need to find a suitable solution to my issues... 

Any thoughts? Any one? Please???

 Chloe 💜&✌

Minimalist frugal diet

Over the last week, I have been finishing a project I started a while back.  The cold weather has had me feeling like wanting to stay in...  so I had more time to look into it.  It is something I had said in my last blog post that I would address next.  Well, here it is:  How I adopted a minimalist frugal diet to save on my food budget!

First, about my diet

As you may know, over the last several years I adopted a vegetarian diet, then a strict vegan diet.  Switch it up to no-fat, low-fat, no process food, a little process food, mostly starch, mostly liquid (juices and smoothies), mostly fruits... etc...  always staying away from meat, poultry, fish and seafood. It was meant for me to deal with MS.  And it worked.  The details around it changed as I wanted to try things. See what could be better.  What would work with me and my lifestyle.

As of now, let's say I am mostly plant-based!

I basically stay away from meat, poultry, fish and seafood. I will have eggs once or twice a week. I ate cheese twice in the last 2 month ( a first in 6 years) and didn't really care for it. But I am not saying I will never have it again if it ends up being convenient.  No other dairy (milk, butter, yogourt).  However, I will eat a pastry, on some occasion, which I know may contain dairy.

I realized that this is the way that makes me happy.  It doesn't feel to strict. It doesn't affect my health.  And if keeps my weigh under control despite my crazy hormones! Being 46 is not easy hormonally!

It works for me.

My and my kitchen, a history.

I have had a love/hate relationship with my kitchen and cooking/baking.  I never learned as a kid or teenager.  I didn't really care for the food we ate at home.  Never liked meat  so much (only a few ones) and there was a lot of it.

When I first moved out, I tried.  It was exiting to be able to eat what I wanted. But it didn't last long... Then when I bought my first house, it was the right thing to do right?  So I decided to take a course in a well know chef's school in Montreal.  There I learned all the basics.  And more. So I tried again. And I got pregnant.  The smell of food, especially meat, gave me nausea for about 6 months.  So I stopped cooking.  After my son was born, I was on maternity leave, and somehow his dad had set his mind to have a meal ready when he would get home.  So I spent quite a lot of time in the kitchen between making supper and getting all the purees made for my son.  I never bought a jar of baby food. Then I went back to work and that was out the window. I gave it another try when I became vegetarian, and another one when I went vegan, especially in my no store bought food period. But I felt "obliged" to do it and I hated it.

However, I do understand that it is healthier and cheaper to have a home cook meal.  I put health as my number one priority.  I had to figure out a way to make this work without feeling imprisoned in my kitchen several hours a day.  And I did.

Minimalist diet.

By applying my minimalist lifestyle to my diet, I decided to declutter my cook books and go to recipes. I kept a single cook book - basically because it has a ton of health related information. Then I took all the recipes that are inexpensive and simple to make and created my diet plan around it. I also kept a few more "complicated" recipes for special occasions - like when my son is home, because these are his favorite meals.

And I noted everything in this notebook:

This contains all the information I need.  And the handful of recipes I use regularly.  Although, I make them so often I don't even need to refer to the actual recipe anymore.

Here are my go to meals.

1) Roasted veggies ( potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, turnip, beets, cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts...), farmer's market bread and homemade hummus.
2) Mashed veggies ( potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, red lentils - mashed with the cooking water and garlic powder, smoked paprika and salt), farmer's market bread and homemade hummus.
3) Basic veggies soup to which I can add red lentils, barley, pasta, cooked legumes...  once again, served with farmer's market bread and homemade hummus! I can play around with this soup so much that it always is more or less different!
4) Barley mushroom celery soup. It goes well with a side of tofu...  or hummus!
5) Salads - a few go to but not a huge an of salads in general
6) Buddha bowls - great to use up leftovers!
7) Fried rice - my husband's favorite
8) Pasta with homemade tomato sauce or Asian style with veggies and peanut sauce.
9) Hash Brussels sprout with eggs

I make my own mocked meat and sauce (aioli, brown sauce, "cheeze", tahini dressing, spicy peanut sauce, avocado sauce).

I also roast pumpkin and sunflower seeds coated with soy sauce, garlic powder, cayenne flakes. And sometimes chick peas!

For breakfast we eat toast or oatmeal with fruits.  Sometimes crepes when we have more time... or even scrambled eggs with my "cheeze" sauce and roasted potatoes with Italian herbs.

And sometimes I make muffins, scones or a banana bread!


My ultimate frugal tricks.

1) Not wasting food.

I am not proud of this but for years I wasted food.  Too much food.  Way too much. But no more.  I have put a stop to this back in October.  And one thing that help was to simplify my eating.  If you noticed, I use more or less all the same ingredients in most of my recipes. This way, without having to meal plan every week - which I cannot do for the life of me - I know what to buy and I know I will use it up.

2) Doing the math.

And this is what I worked on last week.  I took a list of staples in my pantry, a pen and walked to 2 near by grocery stores. One is a regular grocery stores.  My usual go to as I can get there everything I need. The other is a bulk food store, that holds most of my main staples and allowing me to bring in my own containers, it decreases my plastic bags usage - LOVE this idea!

I noted down the price of each of the items per 100g or 100ml. It took a while... and I got a few weird looks! ;) But I can live with that...  Came back home, put everything in order and selected which food I would buy where from now on. By doing this, I can save a LOT of money without having to go to the stores more often.  Just plan my trips differently.  As most of my items are cheaper (and sometimes WAY cheaper) at the bulk store, I will also decrease my waste by having less packaging to get rid off! It's a win for me and a win for the planet.  And it took about 3h walking to and from included!

What's next?

Honestly, I am pretty happy with my diet, chosen meals and newly appointed grocery stores!
I think I will take a break from all that for now...

It may seem boring to some of you but I was never much into food.  Making it or eating it.  Even less buying it! I think I was about 8 or 9 when I asked my parents why there was'n a pill I could take instead of having to sit down for a meal as I didn't have time to eat! This was back in the early 80s! And I am still waiting for it...  Then, when I started paying for my own food, I also kept thinking what I could do with all that money if I didn't have to buy food!!!

Well years later, at last, I have taken the time to think this over, do the math and finally get down to a way of eating that works for me and my wallet!

Did you ever think we spend to much time and money for food?  Do you have go-to meals you eat over and over again? Do you know how much of your budget, or hard earned money, is spent on food?  Are you OK with it?

if you liked what you read please share...

Chloe 💜&✌

It all goes together!

 Years ago, when I was going through a major life crisis, I turned to Yoga...  and Feng Shui.
For guidance. For help.
They were a life savior!!!
In many ways...

The point is, they changed the way I see things which resulted in a new life for me. Because things can be any way in your life, all that matters is how you see them and what you do with it.  It's up to you. You can turn lemon into lemonade!

Minimalism

I discovered what was then mostly known as a new trend:  minimalism.

Minimalism can be describe in length and in many different ways... it seems that many different minimalist have a different version of what it it. But essentially, you get down to the minimum.  Your minimum.  Less is more. This is not a competition, what ever point you are comfortable with as a minimum is all right. Ideally, all you have, you love and use on a regular basis. And that point changes all the time... You need less and less stuff as you get into that mentality.

I started by decluttering my home.  Then my agenda.  Then my life in general. Lather, rinse, repeat...
I did this for years...  sometimes falling back into the vicious circle or hyper consumption.  After all, this is the society we live in and I, like most of us, am not immune to it. It's a trap. It is a multi-billion dollars trap conceived by really smart and well educated specialists.

They make you feel like you are not enough.  Like you could do better.  Like you are almost there.

Always like the grass is greener on the other side.

Always by comparison, by flashing those picture perfect ideal lives that could be yours too. Easily.  At a cost. Of course.

So I struggled.  I wanted to be a "minimalist" but it was back and forth.  I would get rid of certain things and get a little more back...  always never as much so overall, my number or amount of things kept decreasing but it was not a steady line.  Life rarely is a steady line. Although I enjoyed and breathed more easily every time I purged a little more, something was not quite right.  Something was missing. I was torn between a call for a life of less, where I felt good and being afraid of missing out. A feeling that kept coming back.  Over and over again.

This is where my meditation and yoga practice came in handy.

Essentialism

The thing is, by meditating and doing yoga on a regular basis, I got to know the best person ever... my best friend... the only one I can really count on and will always, always be there for as long as I live:  ME.

By getting to know me, I got to figure out what my values are, what my priorities are.  And knowing this is the key.  The key to finding out what really matters to me.  What I truly care for.

Once I figured out what mattered to me, I became a little bit more immune against the so called American dream.  I came to realize that perhaps there was more to life than what they are trying to sell us.  Maybe life is more than stuff, and things??? And maybe the grass is greener on the other side because they watered it, not because they bought it recently, or new or from a more expensive brand!

By knowing what I truly cared for and wanted to be in my life, I came across a new notion called:  Essentialism.
You can read my post about essentialism here if you wish too but basically, it is the notion that less is more only if it is what is essential to you. It is difficult to be a minimalist if you have to follow rules and numbers and restrictions... about everything and anything!  Perhaps travelling is your thing, and clothes are mine...  and that's OK! The notion of essentialism introduce the fact that you have to pick and choose what matters to you... and then concentrate on that at the expense of what matters less... or not at all!

Essentialism is about making choices.  About quality over quantity. You can't have your cake and eat it too.  Well, technically this is a bad example as why would you have a cake if you don't eat it??? It would just be a waste.  Hahaha!  But you get what I am saying...  you have a finite amount of time and money.  This might change at any point in your life but it is always finite in some ways.  So right now, what you do wish to spend you finite amount of time and money on???

Where will you put your available resources to create the life you want?  And to know the answer to that question, you need to know yourself.  Because if you don't, you will invest your time and money in the wrong place... in places other people decide you should invest time and money. And you will be unhappy, feel like something is missing and be right back to square one believing all those publicist saying that there is more, there is better than your life!

If you are not satisfied with yourself and your life, you are exactly the person the publicist are after. This is what they do, they create a sense of dissatisfaction to sell their stuff to you.

And THAT was my main problem.  I was so busy learning and mastering who I was suppose to be that I never took the time to know who I was.  Until a few years back.  It was a long process of trial and error but a very rewarding one. I took the time I had to get to know me. I invested my finite amount of free time into getting to know me.

Once I figured out what I really care about, what makes my world go round (I have a label for those posts in the left column), life has become much more easy!

Once I figured out how I wanted to invest my time and money, I became less and less sensitive to those publicity.  I started seeing them for what they are:  sellers of a fantasy life that will never happen as there will always be more to be wanted and wish for...  as the make you believe that you will never be good enough!

I am not saying I am completely insensitive to it... no one can.  Or maybe monks can but for us living in the real world, having to be in a city... working... shopping... using the Internet, watching movies, seeing magazine cover (even if it's just waiting in line at the grocery store), there will always be some contact with publicity, with made up images or fake life that looks better than yours.And there will always be bad days where you are more prone to fall pray to it... but I have minimize those days a lot.  I have learn to recognize my triggers and not (always) fall victim to it. Find your triggers.  Heal them.

Once you know what you care for, and what your want your life to be like,  this is where frugality comes in. You'll have to make choices.  Inevitable. But, frugality can make your finite amount of money seem like much more.

Frugality

For years, I called frugal people "cheap".  No offense intended. Really.  I just did not get it!  I didn't know better.  And don't get me wrong... there is such a thing as being "cheap" but being frugal does not mean you are.  Let me explain.

Once you have minimize your possession to a level you are comfortable with.  Once you opt out of the endless consumerism cycle because you figured out what matters to you, what are your essentials. Once you know where to spend your time and money to be happy and feel fulfilled, you still have to make choices. Life is made up of constant decision making.  Choices to make.

Even though going for only what is essential to you would be nice, it is not always possible.  You still need a roof over your head (most of us do anyway), clothes to dress yourself (again, most of us wear clothes), food to feed your body and then there are utilities like heating or cooling depending where you live, phone, Internet, etc... and sometimes you have a car or other means of transportation. None of this is free, let alone cheap.  Your living expenses take over most of your budget probably.

This is where frugality comes in handy.

Even amongst the inevitable life cost, some choices can be made.  So let's say you have a budget covering all your expenses and you are still "short" somehow.  You miss just a little to design your ideal life but you have no idea where or how to get more money.  And working more or taking a second job is out of the equation as it would leave you with less of the other finite resource: time. You can make frugal lifestyle choices at that point to help you live the life you truly desire without getting a bigger income. It will feel like you have more money available for what you truly care for.

But you'll have to make choices.

Thoreau said "I make myself rich by making my wants few".

Frugality is a little about that...

For example, when my husband I decided that I would retire last February, we looked at out budget and the impact my small income would have on it. We looked at how much money we would need for doing what we really care for:  going for coffee regularly, camping and enjoy nature. We were not "short" by very much but we decided to move into a "cheaper" apartment as we care for a clean and safe place but not luxury, we started using the car less to save on gas, we cut out Internet service during summer, we eat out much less and spend less in coffee shops and we buy less clothes!  All those dollars saved here and there adds up and it gives us enough to go camping a lot more and spend more time on vacation. Only those decisions/choices we made added up to about 3000$ saved!

We also started looking at out food budget.  We like to eat healthy but we do not care so much about it otherwise.  So we used many ways to save on our grocery bill.  This will actually be the subject of my next blog post. But I can say that we decreased our food budget (including toiletries and household products) from around  1000$/month to 600/month did freed up more money.  The fact that my son is only there part time now does help... but still.

We looked at our electricity bill and lowered it by about 10%.  By being smarter about using my oven, by not using a hair dryer now that I shave my hair, by lowering the heating at 15C during the night and when we are not home, by not taking as many baths to warm up at night but rather use a hot water bottle tucked into blankets and wear a hooddie, by unplugging anything that is not being use (phantom electricity is expensive), by using less "lights" at night...  all those add up to!

You see?  You can look at where every penny goes and think it through.  Even though you need food and electricity, you can make miracles and save there also! Not only in the fun stuff.

This is being frugal.  Even though it most often has a negative connotation, it simply means that you watch where your money goes... and adjust as necessary to re-direct it as much as possible towards what makes you happy! And we are back to essentialism and minimalism.

So the way I see it, to be a happy minimalist you kind of need to understand essentialism... and frugality helps you have the same amount of money go an extra mile... or two!

But in the end, what really truly matters is that you are satisfied with YOUR life and that you live it the way YOU want.  Not the way someone else intended you to live to bring more money into their pockets and leave you feel miserable. And that you are not enough.  Or that you do not have enough.

Because you are.  And you do.  More than enough.

What does your dream life look like?  Your actual dream life? Do you even know? Did you figure it out yet or not quite?

if you liked what you read, please share,
Chloe 💜&✌