Saturday, September 27, 2014
#108 days: week 14
Except that as I get closer to the end of my #108daystoanewlife (last day will be October 6th) I realise that only the frame of mind I set myself up to for 108 days makes a HUGE difference in my life... Rules came and rules were out the window... but despite all of that I had wanted to make this adventure special and it sure is...
Besides that, there was not much new this week... I am slowly settling down in my new life and letting myself enjoy it. Of course I had a revelation earlier this week that was a post on it's own and if you missed it, you can read about it here , if you wish too... but besides that there is not much to write.
What this post, from Tuesday, prompted in me were more reflexions and realisations of who I am...
I now know:
1) I am enough - I know this sound "cliche" , but I know what people mean when they say that. For years I tried repeating it to myself and never quite believed it... now I do. Really. And it is amazing to know that I am enough. Just as I am. I do not need to be more and even less try to prove to other that I am more. I love what I do and where I live and the few people I am surrounded with and that makes my life wonderful and that is enough.
2) I have enough - even more then what is really needed. People, including me, until a few weeks ago, always want more... more money... more friends... more activities.... more time... more "like"... more "followers".... nicer cars... nicer furniture... nicer clothes.... nicer homes... nicer everything...
But really, how much of "more" would you really use??? Would you really need? How nice is nice enough? And at what price??? Not only money... but lack of time.... more stress... failed relationship.... By pursuing more, we end up with less... inevitably... think about it...
3) I will be OK. Everything will work out. Because it always does, because I make it so... this is who I am... I have gone through so much in only 41 and some years.... more then I one might have loved to... but then again it made me who I am. Everything happens for a reason and if I was to change only one second of my past, I would not be here and now. Life happens... for a reason... and I make the best out of it... learn and move on. At one point, a wished it my life would get "quiet"... "perfect".... but I know it won't... because this is not what I am after! I love challenges... I love looking for solutions... and thinking out of the box... I love destabilizing my self, and others, and when this is what you choose as a life, you're in for a rough ride! But that's OK!
4) I don't do well with rules. Rules are there to be broken... change is good... stability is not! What ever becomes stagnant dies... somehow. This is why I will not stop questioning myself... and I will not stop trying new things and moving to other places... and start over... because this is life. I do not want to "die"... not now anyway... I have more to do and see and I will... I love to be free... rules imprisons you. No more rules for me.... EVER! Will do things as I feel them... period.
5) It is when I walk that inspiration comes to me to write... I need to take more walks. Riding my bike makes it faster to get somewhere but walking is inspiring. I need to walk alone. I will do it more.
6) People won't change... well MOST won't change... because it is scary... and destabilizing... and most people are not after that. But you know what? That is OK too! I wish I could have "converted" more people to become vegan and minimalist... but numbers do not matter... anymore. The "battle" I chose is not easy... and I met amazing people and great supporters... but also many critics... and that is part of the game (and sometimes support and/critics do not always come from who you would have thought - it can be surprising!) I have learned to ignore criticism... no matter who it comes from. It is my life... and only mine to live and love. I am now concentrating on people that support and love me for who I am and letting go of the others... not fighting anymore. I am letting people who are after the same lifestyle as I am come to me... and join me in my "revolution". Want it or not, when you are going "against" 92% of the population, it is a revolution. And it is not easy. And I am OK with that now.
This was week 14... nothing specific but just lots and lots of thinking and realisation... It felt good to feel things from the last few months and years all come together... Into a wonderful life!
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