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Friday, April 11, 2014

Milestones of my adult life - why I am who I am

Hello!  This is me in the above picture.

I am 41 years old.... 

Today, for some reason, the last few years of my life flashed back into my head...  to be more precise, the last 13 years...  up until I gave birth to my son.  Little did I know at that time WHY this was going to be a milestone of my life. It was NOT because I had just gave birth and was a parent.

This flash gave me the idea  to write this post, because in a few months, there will be another major milestone in my life (I can't mention it here just yet). I will sometimes mid-may. 

I realised that those milestones, actually made me who I am today!  And if you had asked my 20 years ago where I saw myself at 41, the answer would NOT have been where I am now, but now that I come to think of it, it's much better than what I expected from my life.

Twenty years ago I assume that by the age of 40:

have a paid house - huge house - full of stuff
have 5 kids
be perfectly healthy
go on a trip twice a year - Down south during winter and Europe during summer
have a car
have a full retirement plan
be debt free - didn't even know what debt felt like
be a director/manager in the pharma industry

Reality is:

I do not have a house - but a small apartment
only 1 kid - but the loveliest one - of course
I am perfectly healthy - although technically I have MS!
I do not go on trips - I make my life an adventure - no need for down south or Europe
I have a private driver - he drives a city bus! lol
I have a retirement plan - not as full as I expected but good enough
I am almost debt free
I am unemployed :-)

And you know what...  what I did not think about at around twenty was how I would like to feel at 40!  Well, maybe my reality is different than my naive projections but I:

am in love
am happy
am free
have lots of spare time
and I would not change my life for what I had projected in a million years.

What where the milestone that made me who I am?

In 2000 I gave birth to my one and only son and almost did not make it - Seriously
In 2002 I felt in love with the man of my dreams  -  we got married
In 2003 I was diagnosed with MS - that was hell
In 2006 I decided that I had enough and MS was taking the high way
In 2006 I lost my secure job and thought that was the end of my life - but quite the opposite
In 2006 I opened a gym and was sure that would make me a millionaire - naive I know
In 2007 I sold my house and moved into an apartment - to save the gym
In 2007 I closed the gym and went bankrupt
In 2010 I wrote an article on how yoga helped my deal with MS for Maryse
In 2011 I started this blog
In 2012 I lost another job
In 2013 I published "Life Happens"
In 2013 I lost my job again

and here I am...  with you guys!  writing and writing some more and not knowing where my life is going but you know what?  I don't really care anymore... (not in a bad way) Every time I assumed something bad was happening to me (dying, MS, loosing job, selling house, closing gym, bankruptcy) it ended up being quite positive in the end!  I have learned to let go and see things for what they are - not bad, not good - just experiences and lessons.

Do I have something to do with it?  I like to think so...  I mean, I made the best out of those things: because of my attitude! I always believed there was more, there was something else: believed there was a reason. Because I still believe that there is a reason why I am here (on this planet in that body) and that every time a door closes and I chose another one, I am getting closer to the reason. Because I believe that the sums of all my experiences make me stronger and smarter and wiser... and direct me in a way... in a direction bigger and better the Universe has for me than what I had imagined... 

There is no loss, no grief... Only people/experiences that passed into your life and brought you something - Now you have to figure out what!

There is no failure...  There again: only experiences to learn from.

It's up to you to take things for what they are.  Neither negative nor positive in the end.  Who decides what is positive and what is negative? Everything can be positive - it brings you forward.

You need to change your perspective... your outlook on life...

And if you are not feeling good with someone or a situation or in a specific place, change the way you see it... and if it is still not working out, walk away! Period.

I know life still has surprise for me.  I hope it does.
I know I will try and make the best out of it.  It is who I decided to be.

You too can make that choice.

thanks for reading!  and sharing!


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