My friend Tara who hosts
this wonderful blog called the Organic sister recently wrote a post of
100+things I hope to teach my son. I found it so beautiful, I wanted to do the same for my son.
My son is almost 14 years old. Sure I have an idea of what kind of legacy I want him to obtain from his mother. Do I make sure this is actually what he’ll get? Have I put enough thoughts into that? Or maybe too much?
What is our role as
parents?
After much thought
about my friend Tara’s post, I came up with my own list: my legacy to
my son. What I hope he remembers from
all those years we spent together as mother and son. This was not easy because I hope he grows into
being able to make his own decision based on his own thinking. At the same time, me, like all parents, have
values and beliefs and it’s easy to try and force them on my son because I
think it might be the best for him.
Where do you draw the line into helping/suggesting and becoming to restrictive
and directive?
I also realize that at this
point in my life and his life, I do have some knowledge and experiences he doesn’t…
but the reverse is also true!
And quite frankly, I read
somewhere that our kids do not belong to us – they are landed to us for a short
period of their lives where we need to provide for their essential needs. If this is the case, what if we already came
complete? What if all we needed to know
for this life was already within us when we were born? What if in all due time what we need came out
anyway? This list would then be useless…
But in any case, it makes me feel “important” as a parent to ensure I
have a legacy for my son.
Without further due, here’s
the list:
1) men do cry
2) makes them human
3) everything you need is already there within you
4) there are no mistakes
5) just experiences
6) learn and move on
7) do not hurt anyone consciously
8) you will hurt others
9) excuses yourself
10) always question yourself
11) always questions others
12) no one knows everything
13) there is no right or wrong
14) never take anything for granted
15) or anyone
16) not even family
17) ask "why" as often as when you were 3 years old all your life
18) it keeps you from making stupid things
19) don't let anyone step on you
20) they are not worth it
21) you are worth more than that
22) let no one dictate your actions
23) not even your mother
24) or your spouse
25) have dreams - always
26) live your dreams
27) learn all you can
28) learning, what really matters, is NOT done in school
29) although school is mandatory until 16
30) respect is earn by your actions/character
31) not age or status- this works for you and for others
32) go where your spirit calls you
33) leave where you don't belong
34) you do belong somewhere
35) find where
36) and leave it eventually - when time is right
37) go out of your comfort zone
38) do not stay put
39) do not feel stuck
40) speak your mind
41) in due time
42) never fear being who you are
43) you are awesome
44) you are perfect
45) you can improve
46) never give up
47) do not let people down
48) unless it means letting yourself down
49) never ever let yourself down
50) take time off
51) before retirement
52) or it may be too late
53) push yourself
54) find your limits
55) go beyond
56) there are not limits
57) but the one you set yourself
58) learn to live by yourself
59) do not depend on anyone - for anything
60) do not expect anyone to do stuff for you
61) it's not their job
62) do stuff for others
63) it is your job
64) make friends
65) leave friends
66) be your best friend - you'll never be alone
67) find love
68) nourish it
69) it works both ways
70) know when it's time to fall out of love
71) know when it's time to fight
72) and time to leave
73) not everything is worth fighting for
74) know the difference
74) accept thing for what they are
75) then change them if need be
76) make love not war
77) although sometimes war is needed to bring peace
78) and love
79) sometimes running away is the best option
80) for a while - never forever
81) things don't always work out
82) there will be pain
83) you can overcome it
84) you are strong enough
85) forgive - for yourself
86) be considerate
87) remember everyone hurts somehow
88) people react with fear
89) learn to react with love
90) love is all that matters
91) life will surprise you
92) life will build you
93) life will brake you
94) you rebuild yourself
95) only you can
96) only you will
97) be honest
98) always
99) with everyone
100) expect honesty back
101) live YOUR life
102) I will always be there for you
103) you can tell me anything
104) truly
105) one day I will die
106) I'll still be there
107) in your hearth
108) don't be sad
thanks for reading! and sharing!
love&peace,
nath
xox
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