in a way... I always knew...

that I was different... way different... then where I was... like if I was born in the wrong place and time...
but I was shy... and I was looking for affection and love... and only thought I would getting it by fitting in... by being like most people... so I tried... and tried... and tried...  and succeeded to some extent...  I did do what was expected of me for years...  for pretty much 30 some years... and then it all came loose...  it all came apart slowly but surely... 

I like to think that MS diagnosis was the kick in the ass I needed to finally understand I was different...  and the following years, were life transforming for me... after all, if I was gona end up really sick within a few years why not be who I wanted to be in the mean time?  cuz then I would have to be back to "normal" anyway when I would no longer be in charge of my own life but MS would...

Little did I know that actually assuming who I wanted to be and live the life I wanted to live would actually put ME in charge and MS on the back burner...  It was gambled... and I won... 

By actually becoming who I wanted to be...  or as close as can be for now...  I have became less stress...  less tired...  more honest with myself...  and others obviously...  I have disapointed some people but I have gained confidence and love for myself! It came with a price all worth paying...

I have gained confidence in life: there will always be another job... another friend... another place to live...  another anything basically... options of everything are endless!

Basically, what I am trying to say is:  to you, the one who think they are the black sheep who does not fit in no matter how hard they try, who's to say you have to fit in where you are now???

Take a leap of faith...  dream your life and then live your dream!

Change...
Move...
Quit....
Break up...

and then...

Love
Be grateful
Do what you love
Surround yourself with like minded people

You may be the black sheep where you are now but when you surround yourself with black sheep, color no longer matters... and you fit in... as YOU ARE!  no need to play a part... or a game... 

Just be yourself... and in a little while.... OK maybe a long while in some instances...  it took me almost 10 years to find exactly where I belong (but they were enriching 10 years for my soul)...  You will find it and your life will be a DREAM come true!!!

Be who you are... DREAM your life...  LIVE your dream...

love&peace,
nath
xox
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Fall wardrobe update

Hello guys!

It's been a while since I wrote about my clothes...  in fact, I have been kind of lost over the last few months (to much criticism tends to make me doubt myself but then I get all those requests and testimonies that I ended up realising that those who love and need me are more important then the others... - getting side tracked here! lol)  but I am getting back on track.... and writing on what I love... Clothes being on of the things I care deeply about...  and fall being my favorite season, the fall wardrobe is something I care a LOT about! 

As we are pass labor day, I updated my wardrobe this afternoon... It always leaves me a bitter taste to put away summer clothes as it reminds me that winter will soon be there...  BUT the in between is lovely... 

By now, most of my wardrobe, I would say 60% is 2 seasons with and extra 20% being 3 seasons... there are still a few summer things I put away so that when next summer comes, I will feel like I have new things! Also, I am pulling out the warmer clothes... but in a few months, there might be a few 3 seasons items that are definitely not winter wear that will go away! But we'll see when we get there...
As of now, I have 30 items in my wardrobe... this excludes lounge wear, underwear, and outer wear.... as these are "the rules" of Project 333 that I use as inspiration to "limit" the amount of items in my wardrobe...  I do not count jewelry and accessories in there like she does but as Courtney says herself her rules are the rules that suit her... everyone can come up with their own rules! Oh and I do not add work clothes as they are NOT something I wear outside of my working hours!

Here are my items:  (I would like to add that personally, I still think this is way too many items...  BUT, I love them all and by wearing each less I will extend their lives... which allows me to work on paying off debts instead of replacing my worn off clothes!)

2 pairs of wide legged corduroy pants (one grey and one fuchsia)
3 pairs of jeans (one torn up, one boyfriend cut, one wide legged)
1 pair of harem pants (mustard)
1 burgundy patterned skirt
1 pair of corduroy shorts
1 navy skirt
2 plaided skirt (one in flannel)
1 white shirt
1 short sleeve doted burgundy shirt
1 elbow length sleeves African patterned shirt
2 black sleeveless tops
1 green sleeveless top
1 burgundy sleeveless top
6 short sleeves t
2 elbow length sleeve t
3 dresses (one more summary but deep purple, 2 patterned) *
1 patterned knitted sweater

you add to that quite a few scarves, 2 pairs of ankle boots and one pair of converse shoes...  plus a few cardigans, a jacket and a jean jacket and you have my fall wardrobe!!!
Everthing or most everything actually match with each other...  this is what makes dressing in the morning so much more fun as I do not have to think about what goes with what.... it also makes it so that I do not have 2 items that I always wear together because they only match with each other!

Now the items in purple are what will go in a few more months when we settle down for winter...  This will leave my with 21 items which is OK because winter really is not the season I go all out! Hopefully one day I will not longer have to handle winter which would be awesome!!!  In the mean time, I still need to put away all my favorite clothes for 4-5 really cold months!

* a note on the dresses.... I am really not much of a "dress" person in the sense that I never know WHEN to wear them.... however, I love the idea of dresses and this is why I have a hard time parting with them... and this is why, I bought the deep purple one this summer and one of the other 2 right before my shopping strike started!

What about you?  How many items of clothing do you have in your wardrobe?  Do you even have an idea???  What if you were to guess, try and list them and then actually double check with what you have?  You go ahead, try it and give me some feedback... I and my readers would love it!!!  And it could be fun... I know not too long ago I could not list 20% of my wardrobe for a specific season...  What if you forgot some items?  Maybe you really didn't care for those so much did you???

love&peace,
nath
xox
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Why minimalism???

Even if I have been working on this for years, I still get asked why I became a minimalist...  my answers are most always the same...  and I will write them again here today...  but because I am reading "The Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz, I am even more convince that going minimalist can make you happier!

I became minimalist because I couldn't breathe... I was suffocating with all my stuff.  Stuff you think you own, actually owns you right back! A lot more then you may think or realise. Less stuff means more "air" or "space" in your home and in your head.... less worry about "loosing" that stuff to a thief or a fire... less worrying about time required for cleaning/maintenance...

I became minimalist because I had no time...  to many things to do, stuff to clean, people to see, activities to attends, hours to work... always more and more.... because more is better right?  I beg to differ... I cleaned my agenda to keep only thing that mattered to me... I got rid of stuff so that I don't have to dust/clean/maintain it regularly... I cleaned up my friends list because relationship do require time and if you do not have enough time to invest, the friendship becomes superficial/meaningless really fast...  I cleaned up my "to do" list because really, who needs to do all that??? I decreased the number of hours worked because I needed time for "ME" and we all do need that time...

I became a minimalist because I didn't have money.... Between my husband and I we had quite a decent income but we owed just as much as we made in a year...  over time, we have decrease our family income by 100k and what we owe by a little more then that...  and we are close to being debt free. We had less money then we have now because there was always something else to buy, somewhere else to go, another gift to buy...

All in all, we work less at jobs we love...  we make less money but have less debt...  we have more discretionary money for the things we truly care about... we have less but deeper relationships with people we care about and that care about us...  we buy less things but visit more places because we care more about the experience and the being then about the having...

Now where does "The Paradox of Choice" comes into that?  Well, Schwartz clearly state that he is, in no way, a minimalist... and does not prone such a behavior... however, according to his theory and many psychological studies reported in this book, there are 2 kinds of people:  satisficer and maximizer:  quite simply satificer are OK with good enough whereas maximizer want the best of everything.  In itself, one or another is not better...  but over time, with the increasing amount of choices of everything we have, it has been proven that satificers are generally happier people then maximizers...

Now a satificer will not spends days or months to make a decision about where to go on vacation, what car to buy or sweater to get... it doesn't have to be The Best...  Satisficer make decision according to specific criteria... and hence already have more limited options then maximizer.

I am a satisficer... I have very specific criteria for most of my things/activities/ places to visit/restaurant to eat at...  etc...

Being vegan limit the amount of food I can get from the grocery store...  limits the restaurants I can eat in and most of the time limits the choice available to me in most restaurants to 1 or 2... I do not need to spend hours at the grocery store...  and I definitely do not need to take hours to pick a restaurant when there are 3-4 choices and they all offer quite different menus. As long as it is vegan, it is good enough for me... I do not drink alcohol, coffee or sodas... so even beverages are easier to choose...

Being a minimalist, limits my choices in everything else.... I wish not to own a house or a car...  I do not shop for furniture...  or electronics unless something is broken and then, the only criteria is what can do exactly what I need and not more at the best price... For clothes, I have a personal style and stick to really 3 regular stores and 2 more "funky" ones...  I only buy when I need and I don't go to all the stores...  I don't buy very many books/CD/DVD/Bluerays...  if any... when I do get the occasional books they are on specific subjects that I care about... and when I go to visit a place, I always rent the same car and if I need a hotel get the closest one to the things I want to do to not use the car as much...  I pick what I want to visit when I find something I like - I do not spend hours searching on the internet/reading reviews or comments... 

Now it may seems like I am missing out on many things... but quite frankly I do not know it...  because I do not have a television, I do not buy magazines, I do not read the newspaper or listen to the radio... I do not surf the net except for specific information I want to find...  according to Schwartz, not having as many options, make being a satisficer easier and in turns makes me happier then someone who would actually know all the options available! Not having many options make taking decisions easier...  and I am not scare of choosing because there are not many chances I can make the wrong decision... when you look into every single option, you start getting worried about making a decision because your odds of taking the "wrong" decision are higher.... hence more chances of regretting your decision and then you are less likely to even want to make a decision or a choice!

In summary, Schwartz says that less choice = less options = less chances of making a mistake = more decision making in less time = less regrets = more satisfaction from your choice = happier person!

Being a minimalist "forces" you into being happy... 

It may sound naive... simple...  and it may look like you are "giving up" many options but really, once you are into it, you no longer see or realise the options you are missing out on because you have specific criteria you are looking for, knows what you want and won't be influenced into something you do not like/need/care for...

AND you are HAPPIER!!!  MUCH HAPPIER!!!

love&peace,
nath
xox
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Interesting week end...

 

This is a picture of me in Halifax this week end....  for my friend/readers outside of Canada, this is about 2h30 away from home... and 4 times as big as Moncton.  This was my second visit to Halifax...  my son and husband came along and we spent a few days there!  We had fun... and we walked a LOT!!!  My goal here is not to tell you all about my week end...  but to tell you what I finally came to realise...

When I tell people I am going to visit a new city they ask me "what" I am going to see or do...  and then I come up with answers as per suggested by others or touristic suggestions...  This week end, I had a few things on my list but what I really wanted to do is just be myself somewhere else...  We did visit a few historical site as this is a #1 interest for my son but I had a grand realisation about myself this week end:  I just like to go places, walk around and see what comes my way!  I do not like to plan in many details what I will be doing!  I like to know where I'll stay and have a few options to eat (as eating vegan is not always easy to find last minute) but besides that, walking around and doing what I feel like doing at the moment is VERY important to me.  I am not going places to "say" I went there and visited this and that... spent that much money... ate in that popular bar/restaurant...

 

I like to go places to experience new things, places, people...  I like to be able to walk around the city or village without having every other people say hi and ask me how I am doing... not that I don't like that!  I like it as it shows people care.... and I care too! But every now and then I need to escape that zone where I am known and walk around where no one knows me!

 

I also realise that what really matters to me is just to be outside... surrounded by trees and water...  and silence!!! I like to try new cafes... and find that one ethical/sustainable store that sells something that resonate with me... I like to find new thrift stores and get an exquisite find from there.... I like the outdoor market with local artisan and arts...  local food... and really, THIS is all I care for... I am no longer looking for things to do/buy/try...  I just want to  wander and see what comes my way... here in Moncton or elsewhere...  I have "changed" some more....  some would say I have "grown" but that sounds pretentious.... I like to say change... I have refine who I am and what I want...  I am much simpler and minimalist then I tough I was... I am much more of a wanderer then I ever realise... I feel like I do not belong anywhere but everywhere... as long as I have food and shelter I am good!  Having my husband is lovely...  and I do want to share all those things with him and he wants the same things so this is a blessing and I am grateful for that...  as long as my son will be willing to follow he is welcome to do so and this really is a plus but I know it won't last has he has his very own project which may lead him away from me much sooner then I would have loved to but really... can't blame anyone but me for having him wanting to be free! And our kids do not belong to us...  so they say!

 

All in all it was an interesting week end for me...  it help me realise what I knew but did not wanted to admit to anyone not even myself... I do not care for doing things and visiting what should be visited... All I care about is being and wandering... and this is what I will be doing full time once I retire and as often as I can in the mean time!!!

 

love&peace,
nath
xox
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oups... it's been a while...

Hey guys!!!!

I just realised that the last time I was here was on Aug 9th...  time flies!!!
I have no excuses really...  just been busy and concentrating on a few things...

My son came back from camp...  and therefore after spending 5 weeks in Montreal and 3 weeks at camp he's back for a while...  next long time-away-from-mom time is only schedule for Christmas!  Obviously with cadets and biathlon, there are a few week ends where he will be away!  But that's OK! He loves his life and cadets and biathlon are very important (and healthy) for him:  mentally, socially and physically!   He his fitter then ever...  he is focused... and learning to be responsible for his actions and decisions...  and I love it!

On a different note, I just realised that I am at a point in my life that I would not change a thing...for now.  I do have plans for the future which I will share shortly... and this will be huge and it will be another adventure I will embark on in a few years... 
However, living in the now, if I get back to here and now... I am really happy with people that I am sharing my life with.... my friends... most of them are new and that is OK - that is actually GREAT because hte love the new me! I am happy in my apartment...  it is lovely and convenient! I am OK with the money coming in and money coming out!  Money is one of the most stressing factor in a lifetime - thanks to minimalism, we found an equilibrium....  we may have made it easier on us have we done it another way but this is working just as well... 

I am still working on de-cluttering some more...  a few more things/stuff...  clothes... books... all this in-line with our next project...  it does take a great preparation and my husband and I absolutely have no clue what we signed up for but we are now in research mode...  and preparation mode...

Also working on simplifying the way I eat and cook...  trying to limit myself to a few recipes that can be modified "au-gout-du-jour" while have a simple base of 3-4 ingredients in my pantry - aside from fruits and veggies of course! I am doing research and try-outs for that to!  And yes, this is also in  line with my next project!  I really want to be ready when we get started!

I will also modify my work schedule after my vacation... this time last year I would work 3 days a week.... allowing me to have 2 extra days (when son is at school and husband at work) to do my own stuff:  yoga, reading, cooking, research, writing, knitting, etc...  then for helping out my boss I went to 5 days, not more hours, just spread out differently - this was temporary... and then I forgot... but realised a few weeks ago that it is catching up to me!  Working about 20-25 hours a week in 3 days or 5 makes a huge difference!  If I do that many hours in 5 days, it still feels like I am working full time and I can't afford time-wise to do the things I love and need to do by myself! Therefore, I will go back to 3 days a week...  it will be easier for me and it will allow me to regain my life and have time to what really matters! Don't get me wrong... I LOVE my job but I really can't work 5 days...  it is too stressful and I get tired!  Tired is NOT good for me!!! If I need to hang on to this job 5 more years, I need to get back to 3 days!     

So this is what's new with me...  and my life! And I now realise that minimalism is not a destination but a lifestyle... I mentioned it before but I am experiencing it still... every time I think I am set... that this is good... I come across another step I could take to make everything even simpler...  and I love it!  I am unsure as to where this will take me and where I will stop... but I know I won't stop as long as I find other options that makes me happy!

and what is new with you???  have you declutter anything?  changed jobs? pay off debts? working on a life changing project?  moving to a smaller home?

love&peace,
nath
xox
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Tricks to minimalism...

Well, well, well...  maybe it is time I repeat myself again about that subject!

I have had quite a few people recently talking to me about de-cluttering their homes... their lives...  and most of them had no clue where to start...  I had no clue either back then!  I only knew I could no longer breathe where I lived and decided to do something! Anything!  Therefore, you can go with your gut feeling as to what needs to go ASAP and move from there... like I did... or...

there are a few more organized ways to do it! But all that really matter is that you find room to breath and pbe at peace in your own home again...

1) Room per room

Using this method, you would pick one room, empty it completely...  of course this requires you have space to put all the stuff into...  and then, clean it all up and put back only what you really love, really use and what really goes into that room. You have to be really picky.... and not hesitate to move something to another room or simply sell/give it away if it doesn't fit anywhere.  Trick of the trade:  if you put everything back into the room, you were not very successful at the exercise... start over!!!  UNLESS, this room has already been minimalized!

2) Most clutter first

You can pick the most clutter area of your home.  Doesn't have to be a room... could be a closet, an armoire, bathroom medicine cabinet, a drawer, a bookshelf... you see what I mean! Something or a place in your home where you can never find anything.... of course it may take longer but you will see results faster!

3) Less clutter first

If you are press with time, I would start with the exact opposite...  something or a room that is almost perfect as per your minimalist standard. It will be quick and you'll be able to appreciate the results...  and you can check something off your "to-do" list! And it will give you inspiration to find the time to proceed to other areas as you will love and live better in that area of your home.

4) Open area first

A sure way to obtain visible result rapidly is to go with what ever is an open area... kitchen counter, top of furniture, open bookshelves... anything you can see and is bothering you.   You will still know the clutter is elsewhere but appreciating the space you created will make you want to move forward...

5) Easiest to most difficult

Some areas might be easier to clean up.... stuff you care less about... start there! Anything that has sentimental value, that you cherish a lot... anything that reminds you of something or someone will be harder to do...  keep those for last when you have hours of de-cluttering up your sleeves!!! I know I kept all these things for last.. along with my clothes!

6) Fire - Alone

Now, ultimately, one thing that works really well for me to this day... one thing I wish I would have come across earlier in my process is this one question:  Lets say your home burns down completely, nothing remains...  all turned into ashes... what would you go and buy over again? And obviously answer this question VERY honestly...
Alternatively, if catching fire scares you... let's pretend you are all alone...  no one knows you at all....  how would you create/design your home?  How would it reflect who you are on the inside rather then what it should be or what people expect it to be?  Once again, answer this VERY honestly or else there is no point....

But, in the end, no matter what "technique" you use or not, what matters most is that your home ends up reflecting who you are on the inside...  you end up with stuff you use/love ONLY...  no room for useless items...  unworn clothes....  misloved sports equipment....  maybe-I'll-read-it-one-day books... gifts that you no longer love... something you keep in case someone ask you what you did with it...

Your home should not be a magazine picture...  your home should reflect your life, your passion, your interests... and there is no way that could be exactly as picture in a magazine as those are made to please everyone....  and you are not everyone! Remember that it is your home, you get to live in it... not those people who visit you now and then... not your distant family... or close friends...  It must be your refuge... the place you feel the best in!!! 

And remember, someones "garbage" will be someones "treasure"... do not hesitate to give...  you will never get back the monetary/snetimental value of anything...  but just knowing someones happy to have it can make a big difference!  If you are patient and have time to spare, you can try selling some stuff...  you'll get some money back that you can use towards something else like paying off debt, a trip, a week-end getaway...  but I have found over the years of doing this that selling the stuff I use to love, and think was worth so much, made me more sad then anything...  because it is never really worth that much! Therefore I started not wanting to get rid of stuff... I wanted to keep it until I got enough moeny for it...and it doesn't make sense.  De-cluttering is not about making mooney but about breathing better!  Living simpler!  When I give it, gratification is immediate.

love&peace,
nath
xox
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Because no one will "shut me up"

Hello lovely readers...  this is a post for you who appreciate my writing... but mostly for you who do not!
I know this may sound strange... let me explain.

A while ago, I got a few nasty comments from a few people who read my blog... they did not agree with my approach on health and on minimalism... or my yoga practice.... I got called "names" that I wish I could forget...  damn good memory!

And it hurt me...  and, as a result, I stop writing and took my blog off-line... to stop getting negative comments.  I felt it was the right thing to do.

Some of you were really sad about this.... my supporters.

And I felt like I've let you down... and didn't like that but did not know what else to do.

To the name calling people who read me, I have one thing to say:  "why read me if you do not agree? don't you have anything else to do then read stuff you disapprove off?" "do you feel so threaten in your life by my blog that you feel the need to defend yourself and accuse me of various  really not nice stuff?"

I have always been clear on this... I do not expect everyone here to be vegan... or minimalist... or do yoga...  I write about what changed my life and why.... I write about what I am passionate about and wish to share because I know it would change YOUR life as well!  And for the better...
I think life, by throwing curve balls at me, forced me to dig in deep... and search.. and think outside the box... and I did... and what I found was amazing and I feel the obligation to share!!! 
What I found is not mainstream.... of course!  If not I'd have nothing to write about... everything would already have been said!

What I found goes against most of what you've heard all your life (and against all I've heard all my life)....  you need meat for protein, you need milk for calcium, you need this iPhone 25s...  250 CDs, 500DVDs, 2000 books... you need a fancy house and a spouse and 2 kids to be happy... a cat, a dog and a fish would help! you need a vacation down south per year... you need to earn a degree and work in that field to raise your income all your life... 

I am vegan...  eat almost non oil... lots of starch... very little protein... many fruits and veggies... I believe this is the BEST way to eat to be healthy... I know it is quite difficult!
I am a minimalist with 95% of my furniture being "second hand" and all of it being used...  I have nothing I do not use on a regular basis... I do not believe in stuff making you happy... I do not believe in income/career defining who you are...  I do not think success is measured by the size of your home or the make of your car...
I have no religion...  I practice yoga and meditation...  I do not believe in God but I believe in each and everyone I meet unless they prove to me I shouldn't...  I believe all you need is already inside you...

This is who I am and this is what I write about... and to my "haters" I say, stop reading if you do not like...  stop wasting your time if you think I am so out of the track... and I am also saying that,  from now on, your insults, name calling and accusations will not get to me because I won't let them.

And to my ever growing number of supporters, I say thank you.. and "I'm back baby"!!!
After all, if I am upsetting some people so much, I must be on to something...  and since I can inspire some of you, this is all I really want!

love&peace,
nath
xox
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