Sorry... really need to do this... for me...

Hello to you all...

I am sorry, but this is not my "dream" post... I surely never anticipated it but I am at a point in my life where this is what I need... and I will not pretend otherwise...

I started this blog almost 4 years ago on January 1st 2011 because my husband and I decided to not buy anything not essential for a year....  we lasted 6 months... which was not too bad considering where we started from...  but I kept the blog because I found a passion for writing, it helped my figure things out for myself... it was mostly like a diary... more than anything else.  At one point, it evolved into a blog where I wanted to share my knowledge and experiences to help others because I had more interested readers...   Then I kept on doing it....  because it helped me and others...  and I loved it!  I loved the sense of purpose it gave me even though I wish (to be honest) that I had a bit more readers.

Last year, I lost my job and decided to give blogging a chance to become some kind of income... and I worked really hard at it and took a course and tips from well know bloggers...  my numbers increased but still far from what I needed...

I then started my #108daystoanewlife and discovered a lot more about myself and what I wanted to do with my life...  and realised that I didn't want such a huge part of my life involved in social medias and blogging because I felt like it took away my life in the end.  By sharing all of it, I had none left for me...  I then decided to cut down social medias and keep only Pinterest, Facebook, Google+ (because it is linked to this blog) and my blog...   Months after that decision was made, I am still struggling with that many to do outside of work and my own personnal life...  I am discovering other interest that are not on the Internet... I can't keep up with Pinterest... hardly with Facebook... and I never go on Google+ unless I am posting a blog!

I guess what I am trying to say is that my life as become more important to me and I need to make it more personnal, for now anyway...  I need, time wise and mentally, to cut even more social medias and time spent on the Internet... and I really truly feel like I have shared everything I know on the subject of minimalism, veganism and yoga... I feel like I am repeating myself all the time... and I honestly have no new inspiration!

Basically, I feel like it is time for me to move on and stop writing this blog...  for a long while... and maybe forever...  who knows?   When I took a break a few weeks ago I felt great... and ever hardly thought about writing... now that I announce I would be back, all I can think about is what I will be writing about next... and I am looking for subject and ideas... and they don't come to me! I am putting too much pressure on myself to keep up something I started years ago for myself and turned into something I no longer "want" to do but "have" to do... and as you know, I do not like to "have" to do things... I do not like rules or restrictions...  and this has become one! 

For this reason, I am, today, saying goodbye... but mostly THANK YOU to all of you my wonderful readers!  I know some of you...  others I have no clue who you are.... I know you are from all over the world...  I know, because I got really testimonies, that I have helped some of you... maybe less then I would have loved to... but probably more then I know!  For that, I will always be grateful!

This blog will remain here... open to you... you can come back anytime and reread what you already read or read other stuff you did not have time to read... I will not "close" it...  and you can still share if you wish too...  this legacy can go on but with no new material for now...

I am saying goodbye... but not so long... if you wish to keep in contact with me and/or still receive some advices from me, I suggest that you start follow me on FB (this can be done without a friend request) or you simply add me as a friend (link to my profile is below)!  I almost never refuse a friend request unless you look like/sound like a psychopath!  ;-)

In the hope that this journey has been as interesting to you  as it was to me....

I will wait to hear from you,

good bye,
thank you, thank you, thank you...

love&peace,
nath
xox
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Vegan meeting non-vegan for the Holidays

Today's blog post is inspired by a friend of mine... she suggested, as we get close to the Holiday, that I come up with suggestions on how vegan and non-vegan can share Holidays without any weird feeling on any side...  And this is a great idea indeed as it may not always been easy.  As a hint, I am also preparing something similar for minimalists versus non-minimalists...

Now, all vegans are not created equal and there are many "levels" of veganism so to speak... therefore I would suggest that you figure out who you are dealing with as a first steps....

Let me explain...  I know some vegan who still cook meat for their family... and have it in their homes...  I know vegan who will tolerate meat around them but not in their home and will not, in any circumstances touch it or cook...  I also know vegan who will refuse any meat around them period. And there are some grey zones in between that... Therefore your best bet is ASK!

For example, I will tolerate people to eat meat around me in a restaurant or in their homes (even though I am becoming more and more sensitive to it)...  but meat is NOT coming into my home... nor is dairy, eggs, yogurt or cheese... Or anything made with the latter... 

Now, first mentioned category is quite easy...  your home, their home...  Holiday meal can be as normal as usual with a few exceptions for the vegan person...  In which case, if she is not hosting, I would suggest a potluck type thing where she can bring things over to make sure she can eat....  Or do not hesitate to ask for ideas and recipes... most vegans I know love to talk about food and share recipes for non-vegans to try out!

In the case of people like me, you either have them over... or expect to have a different Holiday experience... I will not have any or the regular stuff on my table on Christmas but I can definitely veganised some standard recipe... the only thing is that non-vegan who are not use to the different taste/texture may not like it...  Then again, do not hesitate to ask your guest to bring something over or share a recipe...

In the case of more strict vegan well then...  you're up to a very different experience if they are included in your Holidays...  and  you may want to have them host the party or select where to go have it...  Stay open minded and keep in mind that you can always have your regular Holiday meal the next day...

Now I write this and I realise that it is asking a lot of flexibility on the part of non-vegans...  and I am not quite sure how it ends up like that... but being vegan, as I experience it, is a wonderful experience, and once you really get into it, it becomes more and more difficult to cook, be close to, smell or even see meat... When you get really into it, all you can see is no longer food but a dead animal cooked and ready to eat...  you can see the suffering... you know the bad effect it has on every one's health and on the environment...  It is then difficult to ask us to "tolerate" it for the Holidays...

It is similar situation to smokers and non-smokers... would you go into a non-smoker home and light up a cigarette? Or light up a cigarette in their face without asking if they mind?
Would you go into a recovering alcoholic home and bring wine as a hostess present? Or if they are at your home serve wine to everyone or would you find an alternative non-alcoholic beverage?
Well expecting vegan to be around meat is similar...  some will and some won't...  because we believe in what we are doing and it is hard for us to accommodate people in such a way that we feel is detrimental to them! Especially loved ones!

I know this may sounds strict for non-vegans... and they may feel they have to give in... or not be respected... but it really is not the case!  We respect and love you (I never forced anyone to become vegan)... and this is why we wish you'd become vegan too... and we hope that being in our presence will make you try new things and discover all the amazing food we eat... and maybe give a chance to veganism...

We are so strict because meat really upset us...  and makes us feel nauseated... it is not just to be particular or different or annoying...

As a summary:

1) When vegan are hosts, be open to new food....  or ask if it's OK if you bring something that may not be vegan
2) When non vegans are hosts, ask if you're vegan friend will accept to be around meat...  and perhaps ask for some recipes
3) Try potluck types meal... there's something for everyone in that situation...
4) Ask for recipes to be shared

Talk, ask, be honnest... before hand... makes everything go smoother on the Day...

Hope this answer my friend's question... and that of many more of you who may have such a question...

p.s. and you know what?  I cannot talk for everyone, but personnaly, I'd rather not be invited if it's going to make things complicated and uncomfortable for everyone....  We can meet one one one at some other times... when there is no need to impress non-vegan guests as well!

love&peace,
nath
xox
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About choice...

Everyday we make them...

Small or big...
Life altering or not...
Easy or not so easy...
Permanent or temporary...
Bringing change or stability...
Asking for action or inaction...
Being easy or difficult to make...
Being quick or a long decision process...
Resulting, ultimately,  in happiness or unhappiness...

But they all come with consequences...  Which we need to assume... Until we get to make another one!

Every day is a brand new day... with brand new CHOICES to make...

And it's up to you to make yours... no one can do it for it!

All the past choices you made resulted in who you are now...  each choices you make today will design your tomorrow... and ultimately your long term life...

The good thing with this is that most are not "permanent" in the sense that you can always make another choice another day... 

They are not ultimately bad or good... Right or wrong... They may have consequences you like or not...  but if you don't you can always make another choice!

I am saying this because as I become more conscious of the here and now, I become more aware that we are making hundreds of choices every day... like it or not!  Conscious or not!

I am also saying this because I realise that most choices we make, until we become aware of it, are not dictated by who we are but by who we thing we are... Not dictated by who we want to be or what we want to do but by what is expected from us...  And THAT is sad...

You get many many chances to reinvent your self daily but as long as you do not realise it, you can't make the proper choice... the choice that is right for YOU!

And some choices, we don't even realise are choices!

Everyday, or most of them, you decide to get up, have breakfast or not, go to work or school, get back home or not and have supper, watch TV or do something else and go to bed...
Do you really make those choices consciously or are you on automatic pilot???
Do you know why you wake up at 6 am?
Go to the job/work/occupation you do daily?
Eat what you eat?
Live where you live?
Do what you do of your week ends?
Have the friends you have?

Do you ever think about those things?  Do you think you cannot change most of them?

Sometimes we think we are "stuck" in our lives... because the decision that would need to be made seems to difficult... Impossible... We think we are stuck in a pattern because we've done it for  years...  because this is what life is (so we think)...  it was that or your parents before you and that of theirs before that...

Let me tell you something:  You are not stuck in your current life!!!!

Of course, that does not mean that overnight you'll have your dream life...  that requires hard work and dedication....  requires your being stubborn and wanting to achieve your objective...  but you can do it!!!!

Years ago I was stuck working in a job I did not hate....  but did not love either...  a job that resulted from my university degree...  I had a young baby and a huge house (not a home)...  I was in a steady relationship in which I did not feel loved or desired...  but hey that is what happen after 11 years with one partner...

Then  I met this incredible man...  and fell in love...  left my partner, sold the huge house and bought a smaller one with my new love...  And we live happily, so we thought, for the next year... then I was diagnosed with MS a neurodegenerative disorder and my happiness felt apart...  for the next 3 years... it was a long process...  but ultimately I made the following choices, that gave me the life I have today, the life I love...  the life in which I feel loved, desired and important...

1) Decided to stay with my new love... every day I make that choice...  and most days are amazing... and we have over the last 12 years loved each other... fought... and made up...  we talk things through, always with respect and love... and after 12 years, I am still VERY happy and in love with my husband... I feel loved and desired... and that is amazing!  The right person is always out there for you!!! Sometimes not where you've been looking for... and sometimes when you are not even looking...  Many, many people disapproved of our relationship because of our very different background... had we listend to them we would have miss on that GREAT realtionship!

2) Changed the way I ate...  and this was a slow process...  I've let go of one thing at a time...  included something better for me...  I used my "small step" approach which for me is garantee of success. I became vegetarian over the course of 2 months... and then 6 years later, I took about 6 months to make the transition to vegan.... I also started cooking everything from scratch... or almost... I really believe it is healthier and I know what is in the food that goes into my body.  Why should I let anyone else decided what I put into my body? This again really is not where I came from... I grew up in a meat and potato family... not too many fruits and veggies...  but at one point I questionned myself and wanted to know how I could improve my health and stop my medication.  This was one of the option.  Although it closed many doors to meals I use to love and place I use to go eat, it opened other ones...  and today, I am healthier and skinnnier... I my early 40s, I have the body (shape, health and strenght)  I use to have in my early 20s.... isn't that amazing?

3) I stated praciting yoga...  and even though some think I joined a cult, because yoga made me change all my life, I KNOW it is not the case.  Yoga changed my life because it has allow me to listen to my inner self and do as she please....  to guide me on the path to my own life... not the path someone else or society drew for me... and when you go against the flow, you may seem weird and be criticised but ultimately, it all comes back to you... if you are happy on your new path, you are the one who has to live your life... no one else can do that for you!  You may hurt some people along the way...  unvoluntarely...  but you are the one who have to live with the consequences of your choices.  If you take other people's choice, you are still the one living with the consequences... and they may be more detrimental to you than your own choices. And how is that fair?

4) I jumped onto the minimalism bandwagon. This too changed the way I eat (simpler more natural food) and changed the work I do and the place I live... it changed what is allowed in my home (not too many things I must say)... It change my financial situation and even though I still have to pay for bad financial decision a few years back, I know this is coming to an end... I no longer watch the news or read the newspaper... I do not watch TV (but I do watch some show on Netflix - difference is I choose them and there is no publicity)... I live in a small appartement and work for minimum wage, part time in a job a love because it allow us to have a nice life... My husband can  pay the bill on his own....  because the bills are not very high - he too does work he loves instead of being stuck in a job he doesn't love just to make more money.  We created a nice life that doesn't cost much because we do not run away from it....  we do not need fancy vacations... or expensives outtings... or shopping spree to relieve the stress...  We can talk to each other, do yoga, meditate and that makes everything better...  Because even though we love our lives, we do have bad days... Sure we'd love to go on a vacation again someday... but when our finances allows for it in 1-2 years...  we are not getting in debt to run away from our life and end up having to go back to a higher paying job we do not like... and get back into that non sense all over again!

Now, I was telling you about consequences... and they were numerous... in the number of people I "lost" making those choices...  but consequences were above all very positive!  I am healthier, happier, I have found love and built a home...  I do work I love...  and filled with purpose...   I feel free...  and I am free...  and I met a bunch of new amazing supporting people...  more in tunes with who I am...  and respectful of my life choices!

Positive consequences far outnumber negative ones because I have listened to myself and I made decisions that were right for me...  Those decisions brought me back on my path...  and this is wonderful...

If you haven't done it yet, try and listen to yourself... what brings you sustained joy and happiness?   What are you looking for day after day?  What did you love to do as a kid? What lights up that flame in your eyes?  THIS is what you should be doing most of the time... 

love&peace,
nath
xox
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