Transformation

I have gone thru many stages in my life... like most people!  We change slowly but surely... We all do!  All the time! The thing is, this change happens so slowly that  it almost goes unnoticed....  We can only realize it when we look at past years and see who we used to be versus who we are now... 

The thing that I feel happening in me now is completely different... and way more scary!  It's like I am undergoing a fast foward change... I see changes happening, I can feel them... and I have a clear vision of where this will bring me even thus I am not quite ready to be there...  In order to explain it, lets assume you watch the last 10 minutes of a movie, then you go back to the beginning and fast foward to the end...  does that make sense???

The only reason why I think this may be happening is because of my yoga teacher training...  It forces me to think, meditate, practice, read, think again and gather all the information I have accumulated over the last couples of years to make it One!  It links together my physical, mental and psychological bodies... it leads me to making decisions or changes to my life that will be forever permanent... There is no way I will do these things temporarely... I could not go back!  Now moving foward, often means leaving things behind... and this is why we usually change very slowly... so that this process is not conscious...  now by being concious, you are anxious to get where you are going but sad to let things go! Very oppsite and mixed emotions!

I am incorporating all the information I got about meditation, breathing, nutrition, physical activities, simple living organic, environment, social responsibilities...  and more... and somehow these are all linked! It's like if I had been working on a gigantic puzzle for years and I can finally see what it will look like...  only a few more pieces to put together and there it will be!  The result!!!

Not that I think that this is it... I will be set in stone for the rest of my life.... I know I will keep on changing but hopefully at a slower pace...  I do not think I will ever change so much in such a short time ever again!

I was talking to Renée one of my yoga teacher on Monday night and she was asking me how the training was going...  And my response was:  "Fine.... it is very exiting...  physically ok, theory ok... but it plays with my brain and I don't get how and why... It is exhausting! I tought I knew a lot about yoga" .  Her response was: (not a set quote)  I see what you are saying.. it's like you have a mirror right there a few inches form your face, and this mirror is always there - and allow you to see inside and out.  This is exactly what it is...  The image is not always pretty or not always what one wishes to see about themselves... But it is a reflection of who you are at the moment!  

On that note, I will try to go play with my son and laugh a little!  A way to stop my mind... like meditation!