I have one son... he's 13 years old... We are very close...
When my son was born, we almost did not make it... either one of us... they first saved him... and then me... a few days after... I do not want to go into details about that but I just want to say that it changed all my life... and because I could not see anything the same anymore, even the decisions I made about being a mom when I found out I was pregnant were out the window... I reinvented the way I wanted/perceived being a mom... because I almost did not get a chance to be one! Of course it did not happen overnight... it took time... and it happened unconsciously... only recently have I realise it when I was meditating...
I thought a mom had to be strong... conservative.... create stability... secure financial life... provide a place to stay and food to eat... provide the best education in the best schools... have your kid do sports... have your kid read so many book... have your kid play music... never have I thought about figuring out what my kid might wanted or liked as being important when I was pregnant... I needed to insure he had a secure financial future.... with a GOOD (read high paying) job...
Now about 18 months after his birth it started to change... I started thinking more in terms of HIM then in terms of "what is expected from me has a mom"... I decided to be the best mom I could be... And this is where all the previous paragraph was re-written in my head...
I wanted to be a loving, caring mother... that listens to her son... that creates an environment where her son is appreciated for who he is... an environment where he can learn, play, be creative... an environment focusing on his desire... his likes/passions... and his strengths... an environment where he feels FREE to be himself and not have to conform to an image that we project of him...
I am still trying to do this today... I do not focus on money... on school results... yes I want him to be active but he can choose what he likes... he does not have to do a specific sport and for that reason he tried several things before he found what he liked... yes I want him to do something else than play video games and watch TV but he can choose what else... if reading his not his thing well he can do other stuff...
I want him to be an adult that will:
1) be happy about his life
2) love his job - even if he's struggling financially at first
3) know the value of life.... not the price of stuff
4) be able to make his own decision and assume them
5) know when it's time to stay or time to go
6) be considerate of other and kind to everyone
7) respect life
8) take good care of himself - physically, mentally and spiritually
9) live his dreams even if they are not mine!
10) set his priorities and realise that they may change... at any time
and last, but not least: BELIEVE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
THIS is what I want him get from the education I provide him... I truly believe that if he can retain that, even only a few of those items... he will be happy... Truly happy all his life!!!
love&peace,
nath
xox
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