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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

About choice...



Everyday we make them...

Small or big...
Life altering or not...
Easy or not so easy...
Permanent or temporary...
Bringing change or stability...
Asking for action or inaction...
Being easy or difficult to make...
Being quick or a long decision process...
Resulting, ultimately,  in happiness or unhappiness...

But they all come with consequences...  Which we need to assume... Until we get to make another one!

Every day is a brand new day... with brand new CHOICES to make...

And it's up to you to make yours... no one can do it for it!

All the past choices you made resulted in who you are now...  each choices you make today will design your tomorrow... and ultimately your long term life...

The good thing with this is that most are not "permanent" in the sense that you can always make another choice another day... 

They are not ultimately bad or good... Right or wrong... They may have consequences you like or not...  but if you don't you can always make another choice!

I am saying this because as I become more conscious of the here and now, I become more aware that we are making hundreds of choices every day... like it or not!  Conscious or not!

I am also saying this because I realise that most choices we make, until we become aware of it, are not dictated by who we are but by who we thing we are... Not dictated by who we want to be or what we want to do but by what is expected from us...  And THAT is sad...

You get many many chances to reinvent your self daily but as long as you do not realise it, you can't make the proper choice... the choice that is right for YOU!

And some choices, we don't even realise are choices!

Everyday, or most of them, you decide to get up, have breakfast or not, go to work or school, get back home or not and have supper, watch TV or do something else and go to bed...
Do you really make those choices consciously or are you on automatic pilot???
Do you know why you wake up at 6 am?
Go to the job/work/occupation you do daily?
Eat what you eat?
Live where you live?
Do what you do of your week ends?
Have the friends you have?

Do you ever think about those things?  Do you think you cannot change most of them?

Sometimes we think we are "stuck" in our lives... because the decision that would need to be made seems to difficult... Impossible... We think we are stuck in a pattern because we've done it for  years...  because this is what life is (so we think)...  it was that or your parents before you and that of theirs before that...

Let me tell you something:  You are not stuck in your current life!!!!

Of course, that does not mean that overnight you'll have your dream life...  that requires hard work and dedication....  requires your being stubborn and wanting to achieve your objective...  but you can do it!!!!

Years ago I was stuck working in a job I did not hate....  but did not love either...  a job that resulted from my university degree...  I had a young baby and a huge house (not a home)...  I was in a steady relationship in which I did not feel loved or desired...  but hey that is what happen after 11 years with one partner...

Then  I met this incredible man...  and fell in love...  left my partner, sold the huge house and bought a smaller one with my new love...  And we live happily, so we thought, for the next year... then I was diagnosed with MS a neurodegenerative disorder and my happiness felt apart...  for the next 3 years... it was a long process...  but ultimately I made the following choices, that gave me the life I have today, the life I love...  the life in which I feel loved, desired and important...

1) Decided to stay with my new love... every day I make that choice...  and most days are amazing... and we have over the last 12 years loved each other... fought... and made up...  we talk things through, always with respect and love... and after 12 years, I am still VERY happy and in love with my husband... I feel loved and desired... and that is amazing!  The right person is always out there for you!!! Sometimes not where you've been looking for... and sometimes when you are not even looking...  Many, many people disapproved of our relationship because of our very different background... had we listend to them we would have miss on that GREAT realtionship!

2) Changed the way I ate...  and this was a slow process...  I've let go of one thing at a time...  included something better for me...  I used my "small step" approach which for me is garantee of success. I became vegetarian over the course of 2 months... and then 6 years later, I took about 6 months to make the transition to vegan.... I also started cooking everything from scratch... or almost... I really believe it is healthier and I know what is in the food that goes into my body.  Why should I let anyone else decided what I put into my body? This again really is not where I came from... I grew up in a meat and potato family... not too many fruits and veggies...  but at one point I questionned myself and wanted to know how I could improve my health and stop my medication.  This was one of the option.  Although it closed many doors to meals I use to love and place I use to go eat, it opened other ones...  and today, I am healthier and skinnnier... I my early 40s, I have the body (shape, health and strenght)  I use to have in my early 20s.... isn't that amazing?

3) I stated praciting yoga...  and even though some think I joined a cult, because yoga made me change all my life, I KNOW it is not the case.  Yoga changed my life because it has allow me to listen to my inner self and do as she please....  to guide me on the path to my own life... not the path someone else or society drew for me... and when you go against the flow, you may seem weird and be criticised but ultimately, it all comes back to you... if you are happy on your new path, you are the one who has to live your life... no one else can do that for you!  You may hurt some people along the way...  unvoluntarely...  but you are the one who have to live with the consequences of your choices.  If you take other people's choice, you are still the one living with the consequences... and they may be more detrimental to you than your own choices. And how is that fair?

4) I jumped onto the minimalism bandwagon. This too changed the way I eat (simpler more natural food) and changed the work I do and the place I live... it changed what is allowed in my home (not too many things I must say)... It change my financial situation and even though I still have to pay for bad financial decision a few years back, I know this is coming to an end... I no longer watch the news or read the newspaper... I do not watch TV (but I do watch some show on Netflix - difference is I choose them and there is no publicity)... I live in a small appartement and work for minimum wage, part time in a job a love because it allow us to have a nice life... My husband can  pay the bill on his own....  because the bills are not very high - he too does work he loves instead of being stuck in a job he doesn't love just to make more money.  We created a nice life that doesn't cost much because we do not run away from it....  we do not need fancy vacations... or expensives outtings... or shopping spree to relieve the stress...  We can talk to each other, do yoga, meditate and that makes everything better...  Because even though we love our lives, we do have bad days... Sure we'd love to go on a vacation again someday... but when our finances allows for it in 1-2 years...  we are not getting in debt to run away from our life and end up having to go back to a higher paying job we do not like... and get back into that non sense all over again!

Now, I was telling you about consequences... and they were numerous... in the number of people I "lost" making those choices...  but consequences were above all very positive!  I am healthier, happier, I have found love and built a home...  I do work I love...  and filled with purpose...   I feel free...  and I am free...  and I met a bunch of new amazing supporting people...  more in tunes with who I am...  and respectful of my life choices!

Positive consequences far outnumber negative ones because I have listened to myself and I made decisions that were right for me...  Those decisions brought me back on my path...  and this is wonderful...

If you haven't done it yet, try and listen to yourself... what brings you sustained joy and happiness?   What are you looking for day after day?  What did you love to do as a kid? What lights up that flame in your eyes?  THIS is what you should be doing most of the time... 

love&peace,
nath
xox

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