Hey guys! I am finally back... ready to write again... with some ideas and topics in mind... I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who volunteered some ideas... I will keep them into mind!
My blog won't change so much... because most of you wanted me to keep writing on the same topics... and maybe add more easy recipes and nutritional tips. Since I am no longer writing on Vegan Restaurant Finder blog, I may add this in here once in a while...
Above pictures were taken today on the 2 hours I spent outside in my neighbourhood. It was chilly (-18 with the windshield) but lovely... and a nice hot chocolate made it all better once we got home...
Now I want to explain myself to you.... not because I have to.... but because I love and respect you my readers and I feel like I quickly disappear without further explanation.
I started my 108 days to a new life upon moving to Moncton and finished it early October. At that point I felt great but no too long after, I realised that something was still going on... my 108, even though completed on paper, was not completed in myself! The days spend thinking and writing and wanting to change my life to make it better trigger something I could not stop... I was digging deeper then I anticipated and I needed to come to term with some but mostly 2 issues that I wanted to avoid dealing with... I will not go into details here because one of them implicate other people and I cannot share it here out of respect for them... The other one has to do with me going deeper into I wanted to become and fastest then I was ready to...
I realised that rules do no work for me... I am a free spirit... much more then I 'd like to admit it! Much more then I let it show... I really do not care for material things... they are nice to have but I can do without... I do not care for money... I also do not like to be in control as much as I believed I did over the past few years... I am much happier letting go and see what happens. Life never failed me... why should it now? Que sera sera... whatever will be will be...
I also realised that I do not have as much discipline as I'd like to... I like to do things I like when I like and I can't stick to a schedule or a regimen... I have "discipline" for things I like and believe in but this is not discipline... It is just a way of life I choose day by day... because of my priorities which come first and foremost.
The most important "things" in my life are not things... they are, after myself, my husband and son... We're in this together! I can count on them and they can count on me!
I also came to the conclusion that no matter how much I love my husband, there will be hard times... and he will, sometimes upset me or get on my nerves (and I know I do the same to him)... and you know what? That is great! Because it means I care!!! And he cares!!! In coming here, we've spent more time then ever together since we really have no one else yet... We had only each other to talk to and aside from work we were always together... we are now starting to have activities but it took a while for that to happen... but we made it work... As long as there is love, we can make it work... A marriage needs 100% of implication on both sides.... it is not 50%-50%... But it needs LOVE... and tolerance and acceptance... And we have that... I know it now!
Last but not least, people will go in and out of your life... whether it's friends, lovers, colleagues, family, acquaintances, stranger, clients... nothing lasts forever... Home, stuff, clothes, jobs, anything will go in and out.... but one thing: YOURSELF!!! And this is why YOU need to make yourself PRIORITY NUMBER 1!!! And this is NOT being selfish... because once you are your first priority, you will be happy and everything will fall into place... and people aroudn you will be happy too... much more then now... and the people who will still be around you will be the right ones! By becoming who you are, who you want to be, you will attract the right people for the right reasons... and then everything will work out!
And this is why I took a break... the end of my 108 was very difficult and I needed to finish some things... I needed to tie some loose ends... I needed to get closure on a few things/people... and I did... and I made room for myself... I work out my schedule so that I can work, cook, read, knit and do my yoga... and be happy about it!
I am happy to be back... and peaceful...
I am looking forward to the next few posts...
love&peace,
nath
xox
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