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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

When I was young...



They say that who you are as a kid and teenager is a good indication of who you should be as an adult if you wanted to be happy...  that is, I am not talking about teenager crisis years or moments, but rather what you liked to do as a kid and as a teenager...  Why are those years so important?  Because you did not have time to be brainwashed by society yet...  especially as a kid!

I am not so sure this will apply to kids and teenagers today... for many reasons... but for those who grew up in the 70's and 80's what you liked as a kid can help you figure out what you should do today if you wanted to be happy...

When I stopped a few months ago and started thinking about that, the answers I got were astonishing.... and only then did I realise where I was truly going with my life... AND that I finally was on the path to happiness!  My happiness!!!

After having tried so many things, I was starting to get discourage as to when, and if, I would ever found something to be happy in as an adult... there was always something missing... I was not profoundly unhappy but felt like it was not quite "perfect" yet...  I felt something missing but also something keeping my prisoner...

Now let's backtrack to younger me and my likes (I will only concentrate on my like as this is where the answer came from...)

But first, I must mention that as far as I can remember, I was always very shy...  up until I got in my early 30s. I was shy mostly for 2 reasons: because I felt like I did not belong and knew I was different then my surrounding.  I did not wanted be made fun off... or attract attention to myself so I tried to blend in.  This has given me years of stress and anxiety...  trying to fit in is not easy...  it would have been easier to surround myself with other people but then I would have attracted the attention to me anyway....  as the people I would have fit in were not the massive crowd (but you may have guessed that already). I did it anyway in due time...  My 30s were transition years that did just that... slowly but surely!

Despite all that, I have very good memories of my childhood and teenage years... they are not plenty but they mine... and I cherish them now even more because I understand how significant they were.

At elementary school, my best year ever was 3rd grade....  my teacher had put me in charge of making coffee for the other teachers and herself right before every recess....  because I was good at school and I had spare time...  I LOVED it!!!  Because it gave me time away from the other kids... AND because the teachers were all so happy to have their coffee ready when the time came.  It was also memorable because the very same teacher was having me help the other kids... I was like a tutor.  I got a great sense of accomplishment from that... especially because even before I started school I was playing teacher in my basement and I even had a blackboard and desks to put my "students" on... 

I guess I always loved to make people happy and teach them something...

I also remember time by the beach...  and the sound of the ocean and the seagull...  and the feeling of the wind on my face... 

Other good memories are of me lying on the grass or the snow and gaze at the clouds or the stars...  depending...  

Also remember palying on the swing...  loved that place where you are unreachable....   I kept doing that for a very long time... well into my teenage years! OK... even as an adult...

As a teenager, I loved to be alone or with a few friends at a time.  I was never part of a big gang....  nor did I go out much... I preferred watching movies over dancing and clubbing...

I spent lots of time in my room or elsewhere by myself... reflecting upon life and what could be done to save this planet...  I started recycling in my home... and wanted to be vegetarian... I also wanted to register with Greenpeace and take off... this I never did because I was shy and afraid of what people would say...  I never wanted to be rich and despised people who were... and made them responsible for the state of this planet and our society... 

I turned in a lot... more then out...  I looked for answers withing myself instead of within my peers...

I was always attracted to hippies and the way they dress, live and how free they looked...  I envied them...
I was always attracted to yoga, meditation, healing, stones, crystals and the like...  I believed in astrologies to some extent... 

Then what happened???  Then I turned 18, 19, 20... and I "mature" and decided that this would not bring me anywhere in life...  decided that it was time I grew up and did something with my life other then dreaming and finding solutions that would never work anyway... so I opted for more rational things: studied science because that was the future at the time...  and it opened all the doors!

But who you are cannot be avoided all your life if you are looking for happiness..  you path is there to be folllowed and if you wish to be happy, life will find ways to bring you back to it...

I know mine did... and I am happy for it...  even though it took me a while to understand why life was throwing curves ball at me: a chronic illness,  a near death experience,  a "divorce",  a banckruptcy,  several job losses... but in the end:

I am now vegan - I wanted to be vegetarian to save animals...  but I did not know at the time that it also saves the planet!
I am now minimalist- No longer contribute to make rich people even richer...  and by using less new raw material I help buying time for our planet! I am doing this by buying less but also by buying used!
I am now a yogi - I am doing yoga and meditation.... and using alternative medicine to heal myself....
I am free...  I am able to pick up and go anytime now - I did it once, I can do it again.
I am teaching and helping others with this blog, my books and my actions...and before that I was a training coordinator for years! Lead my example they say... and this is what I do now.

The swing is my yoga...  unreachable when I do it....  and I still like clouds and stars gazing!
And I live 20 minutes from the ocean... and once my husband gets a used car we'll be able to get there easily as often as I want! Most probably during spring and fall when tourists are not there! Avoid the crowds still...

... and I am making coffee... which brings a smile on people's face!

What about you?  Who were you as a kid?  What did you like?  When were you the happiest?

thanks for reading!
and please share if you like this blog!!!

love&peace,
nath
xox

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1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this great post, it reminded me of myself so much! Lucy

    ReplyDelete