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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

things to let go of... update.


On January 31st, I had made a post about 10 things I wanted to let go of before my next birthday. This was a little over 3 months ago and today I want to see where I stand as we are roughly 6 months away from my next birthday.  If you want to read initial post, you can do so here .

Here are the 10 items  (in bold) with updates and thoughts for each one of them.

1. Let go of what isn't helping my soul to smile and grow.  Basically anything that makes me sad is out...  if I am not smiling, I am not growing... if I am not growing I am dying...

Not sure what to say about this one...  I can't remember what frame of mind I was in precisely when I wrote that but I can honestly say that I do not think I am doing anything, right now, that isn't helping my soul smile and grow.  Not sure why I would have selected this one... clearly something was bothering me at the time. I know I was working on a few projects that ended up not working and I am assuming they were a burden at the time...  in any case, this is DONE! Completed! Yay!

2. Let go of the baggage I know I need to leave behind.  Yes it can be stuff... but I am not too bad at letting stuff behind...  I should be pretty much OK with that by June... But it can also be memories...  souvenirs...  good ones and bad ones...  I am not saying forget about them completely... but maybe not think about them so often.... I have one or two souvenirs, rather painful, that I keep going over and over about... It's time I stop that!

Well, about stuff, I was right...  we're not even in June yet and there is nothing in my home right now that I do not use and/or find beautiful.  Not anymore.  In fact, my place might be too empty right now because I ended up getting rid of stuff I did not like and haven't found anything to replace it with yet! For example I will eventually need a couch and a dining table or something!  I have a few ideas in mind but I will look further into it when garage sales starts!  For sure I am not buying new!

As for souvenirs and memories (not talking about physical stuff but the actual thing in my head!) not so easy to get stuff out of there!  I am working on it...  not sure how to handle it perfectly but there were a few "painful" memories that are slowly fading away...  and being replaced by nicer memories.  Actually, my work in mindfulness, is teaching me that really the past is the past and I cannot change it and there is no point reliving it over and over... might as well leave it where it belongs: in the past! Being mindful requires to be here and now and therefore leaves very little place to the future...  even none technically!  But I am not there 100% yet!

As Buddha says, "there is only 2 days in  the year when you cannot do anything:  one is yesterday and the other tomorrow. Today is all you have"

3. Let go of worrying about everyone else opinion on my life. Quite frankly, why do I care so much about what other's think?  Why do I need their approval so much?  Especially when I know I won't have it....  It's my life... I am old enough to make my own choices... and as long as my  son and husband are on board, everything is fine!

Let's skip this one!  Really not there yet!  I find this is the hardest one!  I have ALWAYS looked for other's approval!  It's been 41 years! I won't stop overnight. Enough said.
I should really start working on this if I want to master it for my birthday.

4. Let go of thinking there is a perfect time. There never was a perfect time.  There never will be.  Time is as perfect now as it will ever get!  Stop using that excuse to stay still and not move forward...

Well I am definitely working on something (to be announced soon) that I was sure, when I made up my mind, that it was not the perfect timing...  but I am still doing it. Because timing I find can be used as an excuse....  and I no longer want to use anymore excuses to not do stuff I really want because timing may be wrong! Looks like I am moving forward!  Once I went all the way I will update you...

5. Let go of the need to always feel comfortable. Ah.... comfort... so comfortable...  but the number one excuse I make not to try something new... I do not know many people who like to be out of their comfort zone... but the few ones I do know are people I really admire... they are living their dreams... they are going after what they want...  what they were meant to be...  and this is what I want for myself!!! Comfort really is just another sorry excuse to not move forward!

look at #4... pretty much says it all for now.

6. Let go of wanting stuff I don't need.  This goes for material stuff... like clothes for example....  but it also goes for other stuff... like a raise, a promotion... a better place to live...  a bigger vacation...  why do we (and this time I say "we" because most of us are affected by this) always want more...  it is believed that the richer people are not those who have more but those who want less...  I am going to work hard on this...  most days I am good...  but as soon as I get out of my comfort zone, my mind tricks me into thinking that I want something and I'd better get back to what I know to get it faster... Faster is most often not better! And really, when you're honest with yourself, what do we REALLY need in life???

I have made lots of progress on this one...  once again, my yoga practice/meditation/mindfulness are a big part of that progress.  I almost never think of stuff /activities/vacations I would want...  I actually try to (and on most days succeed at) appreciate what I already have. Gratitude is an amazing principle. When you are grateful for what you have, you do not want something else! I will manage this for my birthday no problem!


7. Let go of trying to change others.  Now this may sound weird coming from me... because after all, I really do hope that all I write about help people change... or should I say become better versions of themselves...  but how #7 particularly affects me is by the fact I write because  like it... because I need it.... and because I feel like I can help others.... I should not be attached to the results... I should not be attached to the number  of person I am changing....  I should just concentrate on what I like to do, that is write and share, and do it better and better...

Well, I am not giving up trying to change people yet....  except that I have learned to not be attached to the results!  But I am not quite there.... I have ups and downs...  yesterday's post should help me with this one! Learn to not emphasize on the results so much.  However, I will keep trying - not changing people... but helping!  I 'd rather say I am helping people out rather than changing them... because quite frankly, I think people don't change...  we are born in a certain way, and this combine to our environment makes us who we are... if we don't like it, we can change environment to help us bring the best out of us but we'll always be as we were born. No?  Any thought on that?  Might help me...  Still work to do on #7
 
8. Let go of one sided relationship.  You should never have to beg for attention... if I constantly have to be the one calling or reaching out...  this is not a relationship...  and it is just draining all my energy...  it has to be ended...

Made huge progress on this one...  At first I was resentful...  and upset...  I felt betrayed...  But you know what?  This is just life... people  take different paths... and that's OK!  Do I wish some friends had kept the same path as me?  Of course, first answer to come to my mind is YES! It would have been easier...  less painful... But when I think of it more deeply, things are just perfect as they are. People go in and out...  and actually when some go out, it makes room for new acquaintances that are on the same path as you at the time. I consider this one completed too!  YAY!

9. Let go of the things people say about me.  It really doesn't matter what people say...  if they're saying nice things...  good...it's positive energy coming my way!  But if they're saying not so nice things, it's belongs to them... it's creating negative energy around them... this is the thing with thoughts and words...  negative ones affect the person emitting it...  whereas positive ones affects everyone... why should I care? Why should I let negative people affect me?  I have not right to do that to myself...

Oh no.... really not there... I really care about what people say!  Let's get to work on this one!  I have six more months! For those of you who have been following me on FB you know what I am talking about!

10. Let go of the idea that it's to late to start over.  As human beings, we like to create boundaries around us...  I am no different... and another great excuse to not try something new is age...  How often have I heard that such and such are too old to do that... to old to go there... to old to think this way...  REALLY?  who decides who is to old and at what age?  why do we have to be so set into age...  age is a number...  it's not a feeling... only I know if I am to old for something or not...  If I feel like doing it, trying it... why not??? As long as you're alive, you're not too old... Compare to the bigger scheme of things, we are here for a really short time... why not make the most out of it???

Well on that note, I attempted to train for a marathon... despite the fact that I never really run and I am 41.... it didn't work out... not because of age... but because of MS.  But that's OK.  I have other things on my bucket list to do... eventually!  In due time! No matter what age...  when I will feel ready.  I really no longer believe in that age thing! I have read and watch to many things recently to still think this is significant. All that matter is health - not age! This one is completed also.  YAY!

Let's summarize this:

Completed:  1, 8 and 10
Almost there: 2, 4, 5 and 6
Really need to work on:  3, 7 and 9!

I am surprise of all the progress I made...  but still...

Let's get back to work! Now!

thanks for reading!  and sharing!

love&peace,
nath
xox

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1 comment:

  1. This is an awesome letting go list. I am going to condense it and put on my bathroom mirror. Thanks

    ReplyDelete