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Friday, February 7, 2014

MS and my life


I was always a very active person....
Not one to stay in place very long...
And always into sports and working out...
Until...

MS (multiple sclerosis)

Then I had to slow down...  I was way too tired...

Because traditional medicine could not do anything for me, I turned to alternative ways...  This is when I started looking into nutrition, yoga, meditation, Reiki and Ayurveda...

Now you know already about my diet and yoga practice...  What you do not know is that I can't let go of that.... for health reasons... 

You may also know that I consider myself healed....  not cured as their is no cure for MS...

But healed in the sense that I can carry a normal life... like most of you...  I can work, have a social life, cook, clean, play... do whatever I want...  so I thought...

A month ago I decided to train for a marathon...  I registered to a gym and started working out...  up until now it was going well and I was making progress...  I am still very far from a marathon ...  but I had not work out that way since 2007... it is a big challenge... 

I had stopped working out when I found out that it was not really good for me...  If I go back to Ayurveda, I'll explain why...  In Ayurveda, there are 3 dominant doshas...  or energy type...  Vata, Pitta and Kapha. They each have their own characteristics. I a not going to go into detail here for each dosha as I am not expert in Ayurveda...  but what I found out is that I am predominantly Vata... Vata is characterised by dryness, low body fat, tendency to get exited, wandering mind...  It's element is air (think of a windy day - that is what is happening in my head). MS, according to Ayurveda is an imbalance in Vata.  Vata being my predominant dosha it is easy to get it imbalanced...  When Vata is under control, MS symptoms go away...  when imbalanced, they come back... Lifestyle and diet are the 2 major things to control my Vata.  I know I eat right for my type...  grounding food...  to bring me down a little... and keep me on the ground! Physical activities suggested for Vata are yoga, walking, bicycling and swimming...

Did you see that running is not part of the list???  Weight lifting neither?  That is because it is recommended for the complete opposite dosha... for Kapha!

I knew that....  but because I considered myself healed I assumed I could do that now!  It's something I always wanted to do... and now I won't be able to...  I have to let go of that too... I am healed and not cure... therefore, a Vata imbalance will always bring back MS symptoms!

Did you realize I said let go... not give up... because I tried... I really did...  but it is not working out for me... I can feel it in my legs...  and it's not like normal working out pain...  it last for days...  and it's deep down... it's tingly... and also like an electric shock... and it keeps me from sleeping...  I can't fall asleep and it sometimes wakes me up...  This is not good... as a lack of sleep also aggravate Vata...

See where this is going???  Lying down is awful.... and even now sitting I can feel it... I don't want that...  so I will have to stop working out so much... I'll have to stop running... and without running there is no marathon...

This is difficult for me because I like to think that, despite MS, I can do whatever I want...  but it is not the case...  This disease will be in me forever... as long as I live... and there are always things I won't be able to do... 

This is perhaps the most difficult post I ever had to write...  the more personal one... I am digging deep and opening up to you my lovely readers...  maybe it won't help you... but it helps me... to feel supported in that difficult time I have to go thru...

I know I will find another challenge... another dream...

In the mean time I'll increase my yoga/meditation practice to heal once again...


love&peace,
nath
xox

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10 comments:

  1. When I started practicing yoga, I let go of everything else... tennis, weight lifting, spinning classes... not for health reasons, but because I felt that yoga was much more complete than anything else and it was more than enough for me. We live busy lives (not as busy as normal people because we're minimalists!) and we have to prioritise. I chose yoga!
    You should be happy, yoga is the most wonderful thing and it is the right thing for you too!! And isn't it incredible that you know your body so well? How many people have that knowledge about themselves? Not that many, for sure.
    You're lucky to know exactly what works and what doesn't work for you! I'm still trying to find out a few things about myself...
    Keep strong and beautiful! Namaste!

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    1. thanks Rita! You are so wise... I know what you're saying is right... I had actually given up other form of exercises more than 6 years ago when I started yoga too... I got influenced by something... but I got back to my senses..... tks! xox

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  2. Nathalie, not sure if this would have anything to do with the pain in your legs, but for three and a half years, the medical intuitive that I have worked with; has had me taking drops of Ear and Nerve herbal supplement in a little bit of organic grape juice for nerve pains. Although I have a long lingering pain toward the top and back of my head, that usually goes away in a short amount of time, I continue to take the E & N just the same; hoping it will soon. I have had other nerve pains in my thighs and derriere at times, but not for a while now; only in my head which is the usual one. I appreciate what you've written and thank you for it. We all have some commons symptoms with MS, but it affects all of us in a different manner; from each other at the same time. My brain was affected long ago and that's the part that really bothers me, besides not being able to walk real well and with the aid of a cane. But am still on my feet. I had many hyperbaric oxygen dives which helped my walking, but haven't since I was in B.C. Canada back in September of 2004. Take care Nathalie and guess we'll all do the best we're able to right? :) Linda from FB

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    1. thanks LInda fro FB.... you are so cute... Yes I did the best I could... at least I tried... I can never say "what if" and that's what really matters...

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  3. Take care and be strong, everything will be alright! :)

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    1. you're right... everything is always all right in the end... :-)

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  4. You will be ok as you always do. You're a strong woman and an inspiration to me.
    Sending you lots of love and good vibes from Portugal,

    Silvia

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  5. Hello Nathalie, I think that you can do so many things and just one that you can"t. It doesn't mean that you won't be sad sometimes but the most important is the rest. I'm sure you'll find another challenge.
    Yara

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    1. thanks Yara! I appreciate it... you are right... sometimes I am sad bout that... but I will find another challenge eventually... for now I have plenty on my plate anyway! :-)

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