Friday, November 15, 2013

it has been 2 weeks... since I lost my job...


It has been 2 weeks since I lost my job...  to tell you the truth, I am still having a hard time...  and I was wondering why...  I am not one to hold on to past things.... at least I don't think so...  I was quite happy to leave this job because to me it meant I was moving on to another phase of my life....  for the last 36 days, I was doing a countdown...  and I had a huge smile on my face...

So I was wondering, why is this job more difficult to leave behind?  Everywhere I worked I had a good time and met great people...  everywhere I work I was lucky enough to do a job I liked....  everywhere I worked I miss some of the people...

The differences lies in the fact that at this last job, I felt like I made a difference...  I felt like the work I did was worth more than a pay check! I felt I was appreciated for who I was....  not only the work I did...  and this to me is really precious...  So my last coworkers who are reading this blog (you know who you are), you might be happy to know that I am still sad... and I still miss you...  and that the big smile I had over the last days, was mostly for you guys...  for you not to feel sad that I am leaving....  or feel bad for me...  I knew I was gona be all right in due time... I have been honest with you all along, but I am really bad with good byes... this is how I dealt with it.... concentrating on the after B******...  to avoid the sadness of going away... 

I now need to move on slowly but surely...  I just feel lost... I have many ideas...  many project..... but I am unsure to which one I should hold on too..  which one I should put first on my priority list... which one to hold on really tight... I am VATA in nature (this is my dominant dosha according to Ayurveda), which means I get carried away easily...  I stress easily (yes I do... I just learned to manage it really well)...  My mind flutters from one thing to another... I get involve in many things but rarely finish anything...  this is when my dosha is unbalanced... like when you're going thru major changes in life...  it can do that! (next Friday I will post more about the doshas... I am no expert but it can be interesting to have an introduction to the subject...  it is a science more the 5000 years old so there has to be some truth to that!)

I need to rebalance it in order to stop going from one idea to another and keep my focus... on what should be first, second, and so on...  I can do that by meditation and yoga...  the "funny" thing is that when my VATA is getting out of control, it is even more difficult to meditate... 
I can do it with food also... depending on what you eat, you can play with your doshas... I am in a good season food wise to have to work on my VATA... 

I have all the tools I need....  I know what I should be doing...  and I also know that I need time... time to wander around and do nothing meaningful... or that seems to be... but everything is always meaningful...  this time that my logical brain is calling wasted time is time where I rebuild myself... I need it... for the future....

I have register for an online course that should help me get direction with the next step in my life... I think, that before this course gets completed, I should hold on making any major decisions.... and avoid unnecessary steps or actions that would not get me where I want....

For that reason, I will keep my current engagement but will not make anymore before the Holidays...  between the few engagements left and the Holiday season, I will be taking time to myself...  reading and completing my online training....  preparing for a new year.... and a new me!

Of course I will keep my bi-weekly post on this blog...  and my weekly post on Vegan restaurant finder blog  ...  and a weekly post on my website - starting next week...  the blog on my website is new and will be less of my emotions, state of mind, reflection... more of facts, tips and tricks... to live simply, healthy and peacefully...  this will start next Thursday!!!  Can't wait for that!!!

What about you???  what do you do when you feel like everything is out of control???  when you feel like you have no directions but all directions are open to you???  what do you turn too??? 

love&peace,
nath
xox
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2 comments:

  1. When I feel that eveything is out of control, I sleep. I know that the next day everything will be ok again!

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